# 3 Life Lessons (From hospital bed not edited)

- Show: [Stillness in the Storms](https://stillnessinthestorms.com/), a podcast with Steven Webb
- Episode: 107
- Published: 12 December 2023
- Length: 8:42 (about 9 minutes)
- Subject: Steven's Story
- Web page: https://stillnessinthestorms.com/episode/3-life-lessons-from-hospital-bed-not-edited
- Listen: [Apple Podcasts](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/3-life-lessons-from-hospital-bed-not-edited/id1467889656?i=1000638340245), [Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/show/5Q4LN7Ev2CwTMzxj8jlFmN), [MP3](https://podcasts.captivate.fm/media/5c31dfb4-fdb4-4607-b610-8a2c3f60cbec/Podcast-1-enhanced-90p.mp3)

What do you actually hold on to from a hospital bed? My paralysis taught me the alternative is not just irrelevant, it does not exist. There is only the ground under your feet.

This one is recorded from hospital, so it is shorter and rougher than usual. Strength in vulnerability, peace in acceptance, power in the present. Those are not slogans to me, they are what is left when everything else is taken away for a while. I should have pulled the curtains for the noise.

**One thing to try:** Ask what is actually under your feet right now, and start only from there.

## In this episode

- (0:00) Recording this one completely differently
- (1:29) Not even having to get out of bed to do it now
- (2:03) The pillars that hold the spirit up. Number one
- (3:49) Honour it, and its silent oath to keep you alive
- (4:39) The futility of resisting the now
- (5:34) Strength in vulnerability, peace in acceptance
- (6:17) Finding peace whatever the circumstances are
- (7:29) Thank you for joining me from a hospital bed

Support the podcast and join the Weekly Calm: [stevenwebb.uk](https://stevenwebb.uk)

Thank you for listening.

Steven

## The story behind this one

I recorded this from a hospital bed, so it is shorter and rougher than usual. You can hear the ward behind me and I should have pulled the curtain.

I had been brought in after losing about a pint and a half of blood. An iron infusion, then a blood transfusion over the weekend, then surgery on the Monday. This was the Tuesday and I was hoping to get home the next day. Still in pain, still sweating, and a small gap between visitors.

I could not sleep the night before, with the buzzers going and a man with dementia calling out and somebody snoring, so I wrote three things down. Then I read them out.

I also came out of it with a stoma bag, which I am calling a new superpower. If you heard my episode about ten reasons it is brilliant being paralysed, I now have eleven.

## What it taught me

The first is the illusion of alternatives. We stare at the past or invent an unseen future and ask what if. It is a mirage. It is not about whether the grass is greener anywhere else, it is about the ground under your feet.

> My paralysis taught me that the alternative is not just irrelevant. It does not exist.

The second is the body's silent oath. Mine, despite everything, is fighting every second to keep me here. Your body in whatever state is your lifelong companion, and it never once stopped trying.

The third is the futility of resisting the now. We exhaust ourselves trying to change what cannot be changed. Acceptance is not defeat, it is wisdom.

Put the three together and something odd happens. You get a real hold on the present, and through that you influence where the future goes. That is not optimism. It is practical.

None of this is about being paralysed. It is about strength in vulnerability, peace in acceptance, and power in the present.

And around me on that ward were people with their own versions, nurses who did not have time to reach everybody, and nothing any of us could do to be somewhere else. Jumping up and down about it changes nothing.

## Questions people ask

### Why does it sound different?

Because it was recorded in a hospital bed, unedited, off the top of my head with the ward going on around me. I decided that was better than not recording it.

### Is a stoma bag really a good thing?

For me, yes, and I would rather laugh about it than not. It has made a great deal of daily life simpler, which is not nothing when you are paralysed.

### Is acceptance the same as giving up?

No, and that is the third lesson. Giving up is doing nothing. Acceptance is stopping the fight with what has already happened so you can act on what has not.

## Transcript

[0:00] So I don't know how this is coming out or how loud, but I'm Stephen Webb and this is Stillness in the Storms. And this podcast is completely different. It's recorded from the top of my head. Sat in hospital last week. I was brought in here after I lost like a pint and a half of blood and everything went quite wrong in my life for a few days. I was. Had an iron infusion, I had a blood transfusion over the weekend and they operated Monday morning. It's now Tuesday and I'm hoping to go home tomorrow. So I really don't know. There's voices now in the background, but hopefully you can hear this.

[0:49] But I wrote out three things last night about what I think is the most important things and I thought I would read it to you. So. Embracing Life, A Quadriplegic's guide to Unyielding Resilience. So you have to bear in mind, I'm lying in bed here, I've had an operation and I've got a new seat for power. I, I'd rather stay in my bag fitted so, you know, a new superpower that I can, I can see myself go toilet without a mirror. Yeah. Oh, come on, we gotta laugh at everything, aren't we? But yeah, I don't even have to get out of bed to do that now. How awesome.

[1:37] If you listen to my other podcast about 10 reasons it's awesome to be paralyzed, I've now got 11 reasons or 12 reasons. Anyway, let's go back to this. So as I reflect on my journey, a 32 year odyssey as a quadriplegic, I'm compelled to share insights and transcend my. That transcend my physical confines. These aren't just thoughts. They are the essence of my resilience. The pillars that uphold my spirit and face the relentless trials. So number one is the illusion of alternatives. In life, we often gaze at the past or fantasize about the unseen future.

[2:24] Imagining alternatives to our present reality, we ponder what if yet this mindset is a mirage, a deceptive escape from the now. The truth is. The truth is stark. The present is the only reality we own. It's not about whether the grass is green or anywhere else. It's about nurturing the ground between beneath our feet. My paralysis taught me this, that the alternative is not just irrelevant, it's non existent. Our power lies and embraced in the present with all its imperfections and challenges. We evolve imagination to improve our future, not to conjure alternatives to the present moment.

[3:18] Number two, the body, Silent oath. Our bodies, regardless of their state are unspoken heroes. Mine, despite its limitations, fights tirelessly every second to sustain me. This realization cultivates profound gratitude. Your body, in whatever form, is your lifelong companion, striving relentlessly to support your existence. Honor it, cherish it, and recognize its silent oath to keep you alive. Number three, the futility of resisting the now. There's a deceptive allure in waiting to mould, or wanting to mold the present into something it's not.

[4:12] We struggle, we fight. We exhaust ourselves trying to alter the unalterable. This battle is the epitome of futility. Acceptance is not defeat, it's wisdom. Embracing the present as it is, without resistance opens up a path to tranquility. In accepting the unchangeable, we find peace. And as a bonus, the power of integration. As a bonus insight intertwined with these three philosophies. And the incredible transformation occurs. You gain a profound mastery over the present and paradoxically and paradoxically influence the trajectory of your future.

[5:06] This symphysizes. This synthesis is not mere optimism. It's a pragmatic approach grounded in the reality of our existence. These insights are born from my life's extraordinary challenges, yet they are universally applicable. They are not about being paralyzed or physical limitations. They are about the human experience. They are about finding strength in vulnerability, peace in acceptance and power in the present. As we navigate the tumultuous seas of life, these principles are my beacons. They are reminders that resilience is not just about enduring, but about thriving in the midst of our struggles.

[5:59] They are invitations to you to embrace your journey with courage, gratitude and the unwavering focus on the now. Embrace these truths and watch your life transform, not because the world changes, but because your perspective does. This is the essence of true power, the ability to find inner peace and strength, no matter your circumstances. So I just wanted to read that. It's just something I wrote last night when I couldn't sleep. One o' clock in the morning, of all the buzzers in the hospital going, laugh. We had a guy in here with dementia that was shouting. We had people in there snoring before I was asleep, before I started snoring.

[6:46] And it's difficult. The nurses are overworked. They haven't got time to get to everybody. I'm still in a lot of pain. I'm sweating. Yeah, it's difficult. Life is a challenge. I'm hearing all the stories and seeing the people suffering around me. There's nothing we can do about this situation. We are in it here we are jumping up and down and complaining about it is not going to change it. And I know I talk about this a lot, but it's the reality. We can try to wait for the perfect moment, or we can accept the moment as what it is and then work towards a better future. So thank you for joining me on this mini podcast from my hospital. Bad I should have pulled the currents.

[7:35] Actually, it might have been a bit quieter, but I had a small gap between visitors and I was feeling a little bit better without my sore throat on some painkillers. So thank you to my supporters. Thank you to all of you that have bought me a coffee. If you'd like to support this podcast, Stillness in the Storms, just helping you through difficult times, you can. It's the irony actually. It helps me through difficult times as well. Here I am in this difficult time now. So if you want to support the podcast, head over to stephenweb.uk and that will really help.

[8:23] And anyway, to share, comment, email me, contact me or whatever you want to do. Just thank you and I will be out of hospital tomorrow and hopefully do a podcast for Friday. Take care. Love you guys. Bye.

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Every episode of Stillness in the Storms is listed at https://stillnessinthestorms.com/llms.txt. Weekly Calm, one calm email from Steven every Sunday: https://stevenwebb.com/newsletter/