How to Quieten Your Busy Mind

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Welcome to stillness in this storm was podcast.

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And this week's episode, I want to talk about some of the myths about meditation.

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And about quietening the mind and how we can have quiet

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mind, even with a busy mind.

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And I think that's really important.

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Lots of people come to me all the time and say, how do I quieten my mind?

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How do I shut off some of those thoughts?

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Some going to tackle some of those things in this week's podcast.

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And I think it's one of those things that stopped so many people meditating.

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When really it shouldn't stop you meditating.

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Although it did stop me for a very long time.

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But just before we do that, I want to thank the couple of people that

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have given that donations this week.

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You are awesome.

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Sandy, Nancy and Audra . You really keep this podcast going.

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You keep my motivation going and same as many others that do donate.

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Yeah.

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You can head over to thankyousteven.com.

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There's a link to.

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Joining my Weekly Calm newsletter.

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It comes out every single Friday.

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I'm about to write it after I do this podcast.

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Because there's always a link to the new podcast.

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What I've been up to behind the scenes.

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And update on me writing my book, the gift of no choice.

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It also helps hints and tips to help you find the little Stillness in the storms.

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A little bit of weekly calm.

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Yeah.

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So let's get on with today's show.

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First of all, I want to debunk the main myth in meditation.

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And that is that.

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That we can quiet in the mind to a point where we can stop our thoughts.

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You cannot.

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There is no off switch.

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It's impossible.

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Asking your mind to stop is like asking your heart to stop beating.

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Or your liver to stop processing.

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Your blood.

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It's not going to happen.

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And if it does happen, you're dead.

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So stop wishing for that to happen.

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But I get it.

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You want that little bit of break from the thought she wanted that

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little bit of peace and quiet.

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Especially when you put your head down at night and the thoughts come racing in.

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I had to put a guided meditation on twice last night to help my mind fall asleep.

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Normally I can do a.

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Body scan.

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Normally I can do a few breathing exercises.

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Count back from a hundred and sevens, things like that.

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And unfortunately quite easily, not last night.

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I was awake at one o'clock in the morning.

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My mind just kept going through one thing.

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It was a desire and then it was something I didn't want.

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And then it was this.

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And then it was that.

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And none of it was important.

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None of it was relevant to my life whatsoever.

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But boy did my subconscious mind think my conscious mind wanted

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to know all about it last night.

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And it stopped me from sleeping because what stops you from sleeping?

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Is when you don't feel in a safe position to go sleep.

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So it keeps the mind active.

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Trust me, my body was asleep.

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My body was fast asleep.

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Oh, just a reminder.

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I'm also recording this.

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As a video as well this time.

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So if you head over to my YouTube channel which you can get the link on.

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Thank you, steven.com.

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You'll see me talking.

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On a video.

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I'm not sure you want to do that, it's there anyway.

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So I'm just trying to share this podcast to reach more people and.

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You just being here, listening to this podcast does help.

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If you can leave a review, that'd be amazing.

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But let's get back to the myths of meditation.

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So basically your mind.

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Has three minds, you have the instinctual mind.

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That is literally.

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Taking everything in from the sounds to the feelings to.

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Emotions and everything taking them in.

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And it's asking the question, is this going to kill me?

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Is it really dangerous?

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Do I need to panic?

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And if no, it passed it.

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Subconscious mind.

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And the subconscious mind looks for a filing cabinet.

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What did I do last time?

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Do I recognize that sound?

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Do I know it?

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Do I recognize that word?

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Do I recognize that road?

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And just ask that question.

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Do I know this already?

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Is that okay?

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If it doesn't at that point, ill pass it over to you.

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But what is constantly doing as well?

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It's thinking stuff up there.

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Things you might like to know.

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It's what it's evolved to do exactly perfectly.

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So if your mind is giving you thoughts, It's working perfectly fine.

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The problem is it's not the fact that we want to shut off the thoughts.

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It's the fact that we want to choose which thoughts to have.

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You don't want to get rid of the thoughts to you enjoy.

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You don't want to get rid of the thoughts that bring you pleasure when

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you fall in love or something like that?

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No, of course you don't.

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But you want to get rid of the painful thoughts or the relentless thoughts or the

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thoughts when you're trying to go sleep.

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Or when you're trying to make some kind of decisions or when you're

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trying to getting on and the mind is constantly, trying to distract you.

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You're not going to stop it, doing that.

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But what we can do, and I will go onto that a little bit more in this podcast.

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Is, we can influence those to force a lot more.

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And this is where meditation comes in.

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Now then for a long time.

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I thought I could not meditate.

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When I hit my rock bottom at 40 years old and went through

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the dark night of the soul.

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And I say that so flippantly, it was pretty rough time.

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For about two weeks.

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I never felt a thing.

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It was awful.

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I was just like a zombie in a body.

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And.

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Yeah.

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You don't want no thinking.

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It's just I just had just awareness for a long time.

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It was almost like day and night.

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I couldn't tell a difference.

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And it wasn't nice.

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It wasn't peaceful.

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Because there was no pleasure in it.

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There was no joy in quietness.

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In order to enjoy quietness, you have to have.

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The ego's got to come online and enjoy the quietness.

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Oh, the irony.

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But after two weeks, my pains and my thoughts started to come back and my

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mind was relentless and it was reminded me of every single painful thought.

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That I could possibly have at the time.

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And it was all the time, day, night.

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It wasn't, but it felt like that.

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It felt like there was no other thought apart from those.

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And I started reading books.

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And the books.

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So much concentration because I was dyslexic.

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That just reading a sentence and a couple of sentences.

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And I read As a Man Thinketh.

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Was enough to keep me occupied.

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And I realized that like the Buddha says we are not what we think.

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Thinking is separate to.

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What the ego is what we are.

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Which is even separate to the awareness, but that's a deeper story.

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What we think isn't necessarily who we are and what we are.

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I was reading all these books one after the other, and it

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was taking months to read them.

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And even the chapters.

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And they would all say to me, I need to meditate.

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I need to do mindfulness and meditation.

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And I would sit down and I would immediately try to silence my thoughts.

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And I would sit down to deep breath focus on your breath, one.

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I couldn't get to three before losing count.

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I could barely get to five before losing count now.

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But I couldn't get to three.

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I couldn't get to two without thinking about what I was going to do for T.

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What I was going to do for lunch, what my friends were doing, what they

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were up to, all the other things.

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How warm it is, how uncomfortable it is, why you sat there, why you doing this?

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Are you really breathing properly?

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After all this time, the body then starts to question the breathing properly.

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When you've breathing how much in your life.

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And suddenly it's perfectly fine now, suddenly we're getting involved in that.

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So it becomes complicated.

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It becomes this rush of all these different thoughts that

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just keep coming and coming.

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And what you will realize with.

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Any kind of busy mind is when you sit down to meditate.

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The thoughts come more and more.

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It's not that you have more thoughts.

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It's the fact that you become more aware of them.

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So the first thing you think is, oh, this doesn't work because.

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I've got loads of thoughts.

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So you mean they start giving up on meditation?

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Like I did.

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Can't do it.

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Not for me.

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I need a quiet mind.

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If you needed, if you had a quiet mind, you wouldn't need meditation.

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And I've yet to come across anybody that has a quiet mind

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that doesn't need meditation.

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And I also yet to come across anybody that cannot meditate.

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Because meditation is not about quite in the mind.

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Do you get that?

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I hear why you with me?

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So why meditate, if it's not about quieting the mind or meditation

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gives us the ability to see what is.

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When we sit in meditation or mindfulness and we just observe our breath,

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we see the breath for what it is.

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When we just listen to sounds, which is my favorite meditation.

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Just listen.

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Listen to the words.

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Listen to the birds, listen to.

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Next door, his lawn mower listened to the air conditioner.

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It doesn't matter what it is, whether it's favorable or not just listen.

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And listened.

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You hear it for what it is and you do not make it into something else.

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Which is really important.

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When it comes to meditation, it's seeing life for what it really

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is and not what we think it is.

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Not what our illusion makes out to be.

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And that's where most of our pain and most of our suffering comes from.

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Is we're making life to be something other than what it is.

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You take a deep breath in this moment, you can do it now.

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It may take a deep breath.

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And if we just relax.

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We'll see that this moment has very little wrong with it.

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For us personally, we're doing alright.

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Okay, of course, there's loads going wrong in the world.

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Look at the political systems at the moment.

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Look at the way religion is abused.

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Look at the way religion.

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Isn't.

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All working out perfectly for everybody.

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Look at the way economies are going.

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There's rich and poor and there's people suffering the fires and all that.

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I heard 36 people died in wildfires the other side of the world and all that.

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Of course the world's burning.

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Everything's gone wrong, but right now, when you take a deep breath right now

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in this moment, things are okay with us.

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And that's what meditation does.

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It gives us the ability to go.

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Okay.

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My mind's been bothering me with thoughts.

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But it's actually okay.

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It's not too bad here right now.

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And when we sit down to do that meditation.

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We're distracted and we self judge, are we doing it right?

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Is it.

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The social pressures, the thing and what we should, and shouldn't be doing.

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Oh, those things come into everybody's mind.

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If they did an, I would question, there's something wrong with you.

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A lot of the spiritual world says about we shouldn't judge.

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Yes, we should.

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But we should judge in a healthy way . Is this person going to hurt me right now?

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Is this person a danger for me?

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Is this person in danger to them?

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So it keeps us alive.

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Healthy judgment is a good thing.

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We have to judge, whether that bear running towards us is

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a danger or a friendly one.

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It's not my gamut of judgment.

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It's not mine getting rid of all these things, but it's about

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seeing it clearly how it works.

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So the more you meditate, the more you see.

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There's unhealthy judgment.

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There's unhealthy going with the feelings.

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Oh, that's my mind.

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Again, jumping to social media.

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And when you see these things clearly.

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You can then go with them or not go with them.

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And this is where most of your pain will be reduced.

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Is when you choose to go with them.

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Most of the pain and this is what people really want to stop doing.

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It's don't.

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One to stop the thinking is they want to stop the autopilot as lead into more

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suffering, more pain and more thinking.

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They want to just be able to go.

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Can I just have a gap?

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Can I just have, can I stop the world just for.

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30 minutes just so I can just pause.

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Take stock of my current situation.

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And then everybody else that'd be a super power.

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I was talking to a friend of mine the other day.

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And we were sitting in Victoria gardens.

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My lovely conversation.

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I was saying about a superpower and she mentioned that and I was like,

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yes, that's the one I want as well.

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Just to be able to click on fingers.

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And we have half an hour.

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Or 10 minutes.

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And we can only use it sparingly.

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Otherwise we would end up using all the time.

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Nobody else knows the world's pause.

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And you just get 20 minutes just to.

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Okay.

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I can just take stock.

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What do I need to do?

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Can I do my to do list.

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And then you start it again and no one knew.

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Or maybe everybody does have that superpower, but me.

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Because you're doing it anyway.

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Who knows.

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Message may head over to thankyousteven.com and there's a

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place where you could message me.

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And let me know if you have that superpower and you're

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using it all the time.

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I'm just unaware.

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No thinking about time because I'll be upset and.

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I think it's like, Why not mean.

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I want something.

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Anyway.

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I'm going off.

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Off of the topic of the podcast now.

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But the point is.

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You can meditate, even if you've got a noisy mind , you're not

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going to quiet in your mind.

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You're not going to turn off all those thoughts.

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That's perfectly fine.

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The mind is not broken something like 30 to 40.

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Thoughts.

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Per minute.

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And that's about 40,000 thoughts a day.

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That's a lot.

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It's no wonder we trying to shut them off, but the point is we're trying

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to shut off the ones we don't want.

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So what techniques can we use in order to quiet the mind a little bit.

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So it becomes.

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A useful friend, as opposed to an overthinking hyper Chimp.

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one thing you can do.

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He say, okay, look.

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You're relentless.

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What's your next thought?

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And just wait for it.

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As a little neat little trick and you can do it now.

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So just way of that, just to just ask yourself right now, same

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time as I asked you is what's my next thought and wait for it.

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Oh, how brilliant.

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You just have a peaceful mind for a moment.

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But you, weren't not thinking you were awareness.

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I consider that from.

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Everything you can do.

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Is when you sit down to meditate.

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Reverse your breathing instead of breathing in first breath out first.

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Try that now breathe out first.

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Instantly your mind goes quiet because it's got a focus on something.

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And this is the whole point.

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Meditation is about giving your mind something to do.

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It's not about silencing the mind.

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I took a little while to get that, but that's the whole point is

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give your mind something to do.

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And if you can get the minds, I'm going to focus on the breath, focus

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on the sound, the running water.

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The candle burning.

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Whatever is a body scan.

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They use mantra meditations.

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Yeah.

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Pick a word.

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And I think I read somewhere that.

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Buddha come from this and if you pick two words to set up most, put them

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together and you just repeat that.

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For 10 minutes.

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You'll be surprised how quickly your mind quietens down.

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And it's harder than you think.

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Yeah, count in breath.

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See if you can get to 10.

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Just count the out-breath or just count the in-breath.

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I'm gonna challenge you.

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Can you get to 10?

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Message me leave a review.

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Just say yes or no.

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Can you get to 10?

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It's harder than you think.

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And that's for everybody.

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Even now when I sit in meditation, when I've really practiced for, I

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doubt, 20 minutes, half an hour.

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Every day.

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I might get to a couple of months and I might be able to hold it for 10, 15.

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Without the mind wandering in with something.

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I do want to tackle one thing.

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You don't have to meditate for 40 minutes a day to get the benefit.

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Yes, of course the more you do it, the more benefit you will have.

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But you can have a massive impact on your life and a profound effect on just doing

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five minutes, three or four times a day.

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I literally just sit there and go, I'm going to listen.

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And just listen.

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Without judgment without labeling it.

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I'm just going to listen, listen it will lead to deeper insights that

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will lead to more space in the mind for bad decisions, more energy.

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More joy, more peace.

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That's more my approach.

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If I tried to sit down for 40 minutes in the morning, it could be partly a problem.

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I'm sat down 24 hours a day anyway, because I'm paralyzed.

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12 hours now I'm in bed, lying down the other half.

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I tend to take five minutes out here and there.

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Nearly every hour, I'll take a good minute or so out at least.

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And just breathe or just listen.

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Can I count to 10.

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And those little timeouts reminds me when everything's going really wrong.

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The subconscious mind says, okay, go to ypur breath.

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I just started doing the automatic that's what gives me

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more peace and more inner peace.

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So when things are going really wrong or anything like that.

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Okay.

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Just brief.

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I D I feel like I don't have to fight them back.

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And that's my practice.

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My practice is.

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As much as possible during the day, all the time.

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It's all well and good having peace and quiet seven o'clock in the morning.

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Before the kids get out of bed and you're locked in the bathroom and you've got your

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candles and you've got your sense and all.

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So I want a good I'm in peace and quiet there.

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What are you going to do when you're out on your bosses, stressing you or your

Steven Webb: 00:19:11

family's getting on your nerves when you're in the car and you're driving

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along and the kids are screaming.

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And suddenly you're going to get that kid stop me.

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I'm going to get my incense stick out.

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I'm going to get my candles.

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We need some peace and quiet.

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I need you to lock the doors.

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I need you to go back to sleep.

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No.

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The idea is to.

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Do that when you can.

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But the idea is to bring that to everyday life, find the peace and quiet

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in everyday life in amongst the chaos.

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So his podcast is about, I don't tell you to avoid life.

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I don't tell you to avoid negative people.

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I don't tell you to avoid thoughts.

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So avoid feelings.

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I want you to feel everything.

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I want you to have thoughts.

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I want you to enjoy this wonderful, incredible experience I've been alive.

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And it is, trust me.

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It's It's an experience that you.

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You won't repeat.

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Your one chance it's here.

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What someone estimated 16 trillion to one, the chance of you being alive right now.

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We got a double that the chance of you listening to my podcast and middle life.

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Come on.

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That's pretty awesome.

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My.

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But that's what this podcast is about today.

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I wanted you to know that even if you have a busy mind, you can meditate.

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And you don't have to sit down.

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And tried to silence your mind for 40 minutes.

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You can literally take time out two minutes, 10 minutes here and there.

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Just on the way to work.

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Just listen, rather than put the radio on.

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Just do different things.

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Integrated into your daily life.

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I'm going to ask you now to head over to thankyousteven.com.

Steven Webb: 00:20:44

You can either message me.

Steven Webb: 00:20:46

Treat me to a coffee.

Steven Webb: 00:20:47

That would be absolutely awesome.

Steven Webb: 00:20:49

And thank you to Sandy, Nancy and Audra.

Steven Webb: 00:20:53

For your donations this week.

Steven Webb: 00:20:56

Yeah, I just really appreciate you guys.

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And anybody that can leave a review or anything.

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Thankyousteven.com.

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You're all awesome.

Steven Webb: 00:21:05

Love you all.

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Take care and hopefully.

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You stop trying to silence your mind.