What are you actually waiting for? I am 49, I have everything I need to do the work, and I am watching Netflix instead. So I am asking you to hold me to it.
What are you actually waiting for? I am 49, I have everything I need to do the work, and I am watching Netflix instead. So I am asking you to hold me to it.
Mark Twain said a person who will not read has no advantage over one who cannot. That landed hard. I have the chair, the arm, the time, and I still am not doing it. For years I told myself I was frightened of letting people down, then realised I let people down by not doing it. So no grand promises. Just accountability, and something told to you each day.
One thing to try: Name the one thing you keep not doing, then tell somebody. Not a plan. Just say it out loud to another person.
In this episode
(0:02) Enough is enough, and why I am asking for help
(1:44) Doing the things that give pleasure in the moment, ironically
(4:04) Mark Twain, and the line that landed hard
(5:34) I have everything I need, so what am I waiting for
(6:49) Why funerals frighten us, and what they remind us of
(8:15) Frightened of letting people down, while letting people down
(9:21) No big promises, just accountability
(12:04) One thing a day, told to you, whatever it is
Support the podcast and join the Weekly Calm: stevenwebb.uk
Thank you for listening.
Steven
The story behind this one
I am forty nine, I have everything I need to do the work, and I am watching Netflix instead. So this episode is me asking you to hold me to it.
It starts with an admission about the episode itself. One of the things stopping me publishing is wanting each one to be perfect, so I have given that up. You get the rough edit, the mistakes left in, and no fiddling with the title for two hours.
The book is thirty one years old now. I have written it ten thousand times in my head. Bits of it are in Evernote, bits in OneNote, chapters scattered everywhere. During lockdown I was going to finish it and get fit. You know how that went.
What I actually do is pick the low fruit. Netflix at bedtime. The wrong chocolate bar. Buying the item that I have convinced myself is the thing standing between me and getting started, of which there have been thousands, because I have two Kindles. Two. I bought the second one believing it would make me read.
I used to say I work best with my back against the wall. That is not a trait. That is a way of saying I will not begin until the deadline forces me.
What it taught me
A person who will not read has no advantage over one who cannot read.
Mark Twain
I wear a memento mori round my neck, which means remember that you have to die. If that does not wake a person up, nothing will. And yet the longer you live the more confident you get that you will carry on living, which is exactly backwards.
That is why funerals unsettle us. Somebody else dying reminds us we are not staying either.
Don't die with your music still in you.
Wayne Dyer
Here is the bit I had wrong for years. I told myself I was frightened of letting people down. Then it landed that I am letting people down by not doing it. I am trying to write a New York Times bestseller and I am not even an author yet. Every book starts out as a mess and gets rewritten.
So no grand promises, because I know myself and I would fail them. Instead: Netflix cancelled, games off the tablet, the television out of the bedroom, and something told to you every single day about what I actually did.
Questions people ask
What are you asking listeners to do?
Hold me to it. If I say I will email you, chase me. If I promise something, make me deliver. That is the whole ask, and it is not rhetorical.
Is this an episode about productivity?
No. It is about the gap between knowing and doing, which is the same thing I keep circling. Knowing what would help you and not doing it puts you level with somebody who never knew.
What should I take from this if I am not writing a book?
Name the one thing you keep not doing, and tell somebody. Not a plan, not a system. Say it out loud to another person, which is exactly what this episode is me doing.
Read along
The transcript
It follows the audio. Press any line to jump there.
update · personal-story · purpose · change
Read the transcript
Enough is enough. I'm 49 and I need your help.
Let me explain.
Just before I start, just a little bit of time out a moment. Because when I went through to just
chop out the bits that I wasn't speaking, I realised I didn't say something very important.
One of the things that stops me doing all these podcasts and all the other things is the fact that
I think I need to make them perfect. I'm going to give up on that. You're going to get the
rawest um Editing you're going to get literally I'm going to chop out the bits where perhaps I make a
mistake or there's blank bits. But I'm not going to play around with titles. I'm not going to play around
all those other things because that's what stops me publishing. So I'm just going to throw it up there. So
it is going to be what it's going to be. So I'm Steven. This is Stillness in the Storms podcast
and I will allow it to continue.
So, like I said, I'm 49 soon. I've been paralysed now, September the 1st, for 31 years. You know, we've
had lockdown. During lockdown, I was going to write my book. I was going to get fit. I was going
to do all these things. For the last 31 years, I was going to write a book. I wrote it
10 000 times in my head. I wrote it on the computer, different chapters here and there. It's a mess.
It's in Evernote. It's in one note It's in all these different places. It needs to be brought together and
some kind of... And I I just feel like I'm getting nowhere fast. I'm doing the things that need to
be done as opposed to the things I want to do. And I'm doing all the things that... I don't
want to do, ironically. But they're the things that give me the moment pleasure in that moment. Like watching Tv.
Like binge um Watching on Netflix. Doing all these different things like eating the wrong kind of chocolate bar. Things
like They all give me those little pick-me-ups in the moment. But they're not nourishing. They're not going to give
me anything later on. And I'm constantly picking the the low level fruit in order to
in
In some way, I think something's going to snap and something's going to really push me into getting on with
my life but You know, put my backside into gear. And I always remember saying, especially when I was a
teenager or even older even even probably recent years, you
know, I'm best when my back's against the wall when I'm under pressure. Really, that was an excuse for saying
I'm not going to bother doing it until the deadline is almost here um you know and You
know, I always thought that was a trait. That was a wonderful, like, thing. But no, that's what I do.
I I don't reply to emails till I have to reply. I've got a to-do list as long as my
arm that I really need to get on and do. And I feel like I'm letting people down. They
may not feel the same way, but I I that's the way I feel. And you cannot argue with feelings
you know If someone feels a certain way, don't argue with it because that's the way they feel. Even if
it doesn't fit the facts, that's the way they feel. So I feel like I let people down and But
above all, I'm starting to realise at the age of 49, I'll be 50 to 78
And what have I done with my life? I
know people will come back and say, well, you've done a lot and all that. Yeah, maybe. But unless I
feel that,
then it's not really that important. And you can do this with yourself now. You know, are you really where
you want to be? You might be doing well in other people's eyes. You might be doing all these other
things. But is it where you really want to be? And the reason why I say enough is enough, you
know, you can have all the knowledge in the world, but unless you put it to use, what's the point
in that knowledge? It
reminds me of a quote by Mark Twain. A person who won't read has no advantage over one who can't
read. So the person who won't read has no advantage over the person that cannot read. Think about that for
a moment.
Yeah. I've got a necklace around my head, the Memento Mori.
And I I got it from Ryan Holiday that writes lots and lots of books it's I'm a huge fan
of his. And he he does the daily stoic. I read the emails. And I think every day I'm going
to make changes. And every day I go to bed and I put up my tablet and I put on
Netflix and I do a bit of reading and I read those and my head goes Like it doesn't want
to read anymore. It goes blank. Because I'm reading the wrong time of day. Really, I should be going to
sleep. No, what do I do? I put suits on on Netflix. I try to kid myself. I'll do it
tomorrow. I
buy that item on Amazon because I think when I buy that item, that's that's the one item that I
need in order to sort my life out. That's the one item I need to do my next podcast or
something like that. Well, I bought thousands of items I've You know, I'm a gadget freak. I buy and sell
things. I upgrade I
You get the point. You get the point. And I have a Youtube. I have a Tiktok I
have I
have my chair. I have my arm for the chair. I have all the things I've always wanted to do
what I want to do, and yet I'm still not doing it.
What am I waiting for? Well, I don't wait until I die. You
know, that necklace around my neck, memento mori. You know it's it means in Latin, remember
that you have to die.
Boom that
doesn't wake you up, if that doesn't wake me up, what is? I'm going to die. And when I broke
my neck, what, 31 years ago, this September, I didn't think I'd live 10 years. But
the problem is, the longer you live, the more confident you get that you'll live fine. Even when you hear
a friend dying or you hear somebody else you like you have that, oh crap I'm not I'm not immortal.
Immortal? Mortal. I get the words wrong way around. Kind of different. It's my dyslexia um But yeah,
we kind of for a few days we're like, oh my God, I could die? Because really when someone else
dies, it freaks us out because it awakens us to our immortality. And
that's the reality. That's why it freaks us out when someone dies. It's why we don't want to go to
funerals. It's why we don't like those things. It reminds us that we're not going to live forever. But yet
we're planning to live forever. I'll do all these things one day. What did Wayne Dyer say? Don't die with
your music still in you.
Don't die with the music still in you.
Boom. How powerful is that? And I know that. I know all these things.
You know, Stephen Covey says, start with your funeral. Start with your obituary. What do I want people to say
about me? Well, at the moment, they would probably say, well, I was waiting for his book.
It's a shame it didn't happen.
And I think that's the one thing. I've had a wonderful opportunity of a guy called Robert on a chance
meeting in town with somebody that's down here on holiday that's seen my bling, the Mayor of Truro chain. They
said they oh I wonder what that is. And they looked it up on the internet. And by the time
I got over there I said you're the male true You're Steven Webb. And they see me on the internet.
And I don't know what they typed in. A chain true merchant I don't know. But
they they introduced me to a guy called Robert that works for crowdfunding and all that. And he sent me
a brilliant email with loads and loads of details. I'm gonna meet him on Zoom. But then I procrastinate and
I pull away. What am I frightened of and
for For years I've convinced to myself that I'm frightened of letting people down. Well, I'm letting people down by
not doing it.
By not sharing my story, I'm already letting people down.
Yeah.
I'm worried about getting it slightly wrong.
You know, most books start off out of crap They need editing and rewriting and editing and all that. And
yet I'm trying to create a New York Times bestseller and I'm not even an author. So
what's going on? What's
going on? So I need your help. This is what this this podcast is about. And I'm going to share
this podcast wide. I'm going to share that on everywhere I'm going to share this on my Tiktok um my
Youtube. I'm going to share it on my Stillness in the Storms podcast. Oh, by the way, you're listening to
Stillness in the Storms podcast. I'm your host, Steven Webb. I'm a little late, but that's the reality. Oh, come
on. Now my computer's gone sleep Okay, now you're back. Thank you um But I want your help. I
need some accountability. And I'm gonna I'm not going to make promise any big things. I'm not going to promise
you I'm going to do this every day and all those things because I will fail. And I know you
are what you tell yourself. I know that you
know I am You know, I'm preaching to my own choir, but
I know me. So what I'm going to do is I'm going to stop this um When I finish this
podcast, I'm going to go and remove all the things off of my tablet. And offer my phone I don't
need. I'm going to cancel Netflix tonight. Sorry, family
subscription we're gonna have to do it. But my life and my book and what I really want to do
is more important than your Netflix binge. So I'm going to do that um I'm sure we can
work out something, even if I help you out, but I need to get it off my devices um By
the end of this week, I think I'm even going to remove the Tv out of my bedroom. I don't
need it. I don't need it. I'm I'm going to make those changes. I'm going to make it so difficult
for me not to read a book, not to take notes
but it'll become second nature and it'll become part of a habit. So when I go bed I haven't got
Netflix. So I'm paralysed. I can't get out of bed. So if I haven't got it there, I can't go
and get it. You know if you know I need my carer to go and get me the tablet. So
if I don't have the tablet next to me on bed on the bed. If I take my Kindle, I've
got two Kindles for Christ's sake. Why? I
thought buying a new upgraded Kindle will make me read more. What
the hell is all this about? Well, the the human mind is amazing and crazy. It hasn't
got, your mind hasn't got your best interest at heart. It's just got the easy road. It
just wants to sit back and relax and let it let things happen.
So, yeah, I'm going to cancel Netflix. I'm going to cancel my Disney. I don't know what other subscriptions I
got. I'm not going to cancel Spotify for the net because I need to take time out and listen to
my music. I like that um And also it's great for podcasts. My podcast is on it. Stillness in the
Storms. And I'm going to commit. And my commitment to you, my commitment to
myself.
Is I'm going to document at some point every day. Even if it's just a one minute video on Tiktok.
I'm going to tell you what I did that day. Whether it's read a chapter. Whether it's um go for
a walk. Or whether it's cancel delete something. I'm going to do something every day. Moving towards my goal.
And
I want you to hold me accountable. I don't know what that looks like. But give me some ideas. Let
me know in the comments. Does any of this resonate with you? Do you struggle with any of this?
Because you're gonna die
I'm gonna die And
do you have a message the world needs to hear? Have you done something awesome in your life? Have you
been a good parent? Have you done all these things that the world needs to hear? Have you got some
advice? Don't die with that advice in you
I Just ask you. Imagine the world a better place if all of that wisdom that died within people was
here and alive today
it's it It would really change things. So
yeah I enough is enough. I'm 49 and I'm 50 on December the 8th. And by December the 8th, I
want to, I really, I'm going to enjoy reading books. I'm going to enjoy doing more videos. I'm going to
enjoy putting myself out there in the world and helping you guys a little bit more um But that's going
to help me because that's what I really get nourishment from. Hold
me accountable. If I say I'm going to email you, get hold of me and say, you haven't emailed me
you know If I promise, make sure I deliver.
Thank you. And I really do appreciate this. It really will make a difference um I
don't know how to sign off this podcast apart from go to StevenWebb.uk. That's just StevenWebb.uk
and you will have a link, a list of links as to where I'm going to document how this is
going and what I'm doing on a daily basis. Thank you and Take care. Oh, don't forget.
On those list of links there's a there's a podcast that's doing really well. And that's Inner Peace Meditations. That's
my meditations. So take care. Thank you. And I love you. And let's
do this. Let's do this. Make changes at arm's length. So important.
