Episode 156
Forget Resolutions: Why One Word Is All You Need This Year
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Forget Resolutions: Why One Word Is All You Need This Year
Happy New Year to you all! It is great to be back recording after a tough few weeks battling a severe chest infection. Before we dive into today’s episode, I want to say a massive thank you to everyone who supported me and donated over Christmas.
Your kindness keeps this podcast ad-free and helps cover the editing and admin costs which allows me to keep going. A special shout out to Jessica, Laura, Catherine, Joan, Ulysses, Lisa, Kerry, and Audra. And wow, thank you to Joan and Ulysses for the 40 coffees! You are all absolutely brilliant.
In this episode:
I share a bit about my recent battle with "man flu" and the complications of dealing with a chest infection while being paralyzed. It was a stark reminder of how fragile things can be, leading to an ambulance visit and plenty of steroids.
But this experience led me to my focus for this year. Instead of setting strict resolutions that we often break, I am inviting you to choose just one word for the year. My word is Simplify.
We explore what it means to strip life down to its simplest form to remove obstacles and reduce suffering. Whether it is closing tabs on a browser or just sitting in silence, simplifying is about finding peace in the moment.
We also talk about:
- Why I chose "Simplify" as my word for the year.
- The spiritual journey of reducing suffering and attachment.
- How to handle emotions like anxiety and overwhelm by listening to what they are teaching us.
- Examples of words you might choose, such as Acceptance, Trust, release, or Curiosity.
What is your word for the year? I would love to hear it.
Links and Contact: If you want to get in touch, share your word, or just say hello, you can message me directly at:
Thank you for listening and for your continued support.
Transcript
Hello, and welcome to Stillness in the Storms.
Speaker A:I'm Stephen Webb, and this is your podcast that helps you through difficult times.
Speaker A:And happy New Year to you all.
Speaker A:I haven't been recording for the last few weeks because I have had a dreadful cold cough and, dare I say it, man flu.
Speaker A:Although there's some truth about that, that's a different story.
Speaker A:Because I'm paralyzed and my chest muscles are paralyzed.
Speaker A:I have really struggled to fight off this cold flu thing.
Speaker A:I ended up having to have an ambulance out on the Sunday before Christmas, and they gave me a whole bottle of oxygen in the space of an hour just to get my stats level back to 90.
Speaker A:And they wanted to take me in the hospital, but because I was lying in bed, and if I went into hospital, I would have still been lying in bed for most of the day waiting for my steroids and antibiotics.
Speaker A:But I wanted to get up.
Speaker A:I wanted to be able to get in my chair so I could lean forward and cough properly.
Speaker A:Because I only breathe and cough with my diaphragm, this is turning out a way longer story than I thought it was going to be.
Speaker A:But I'll tell you the story anyway.
Speaker A:And because no chest muscles, so my cough is quite pathetic.
Speaker A:And I find it really hard to cough anything off.
Speaker A:So what the body does so beautifully is it floods the lungs with liquid in order to help you cough it off.
Speaker A:It has no idea that I'm paralyzed, and it really is not a good idea.
Speaker A:So it ends up drowning me in it.
Speaker A:So I need to be able to lean forward in the chair to cough.
Speaker A:So I said to the ambulance, paramedics, can I refuse to go in this time?
Speaker A:And I've never done that in my life.
Speaker A:And if I get out of bed in a space of next hour, because my carers were then here, the one was here overnight, but the second pair of hands turned up so they could get me out of bed.
Speaker A:So then I said, look, if I'm still bad in an hour, can I call you back?
Speaker A:And they said, yep, no problem.
Speaker A:So they wrote up the notes, they got hold of a doctor, they put out the prescription.
Speaker A:So I got out of bed after a few hours and taking the steroids, I was feeling better.
Speaker A:I could breathe, I could cough it off my chest.
Speaker A:But I spent the next week taking steroids, sat up in bed.
Speaker A:I spent nearly every night just sat right up in bed because I couldn't lie down, because if I did, I just coughed all night.
Speaker A:And shallow breathing, just, yeah, not take a deep breath.
Speaker A:And then watching tv, I'VE watched so much junk TV at night, but yeah, and then after Christmas and all that, it just wouldn't go.
Speaker A:So I went on to the second.
Speaker A:Lot of antibiotics and steroids, different type this time.
Speaker A:And yeah, it's just gone.
Speaker A:And I forgot what it's like to be.
Speaker A:To have a bit of energy.
Speaker A:So, last couple of days.
Speaker A:So I'm recording this podcast, but this podcast is going to focus on one thing, One simple thing, one word.
Speaker A:So thank you to so many of you that have donated over Christmas, and that is Jessica, Laura, Catherine, Joan, Ulysses and Elisa, and a few more of you and Joan and Ulysses.
Speaker A:40 coffees.
Speaker A:Wow.
Speaker A:Also Carrie.
Speaker A:And I'm trying to think off top of my head.
Speaker A:It's so many of you.
Speaker A:Look, just.
Speaker A:Thank you so much.
Speaker A:And of course there's Laura and Audra and all those that donate monthly.
Speaker A:And we've got a new person that's just signed up to monthly.
Speaker A:Absolutely incredible.
Speaker A:You're all brilliant.
Speaker A:Thank you so much.
Speaker A:I'm going to put a list of my monthly donators at the bottom of the page just to say thank you, you are awesome.
Speaker A:And you keep it ad free so we can get on with it.
Speaker A:So I'm going to do that right now.
Speaker A:I want to.
Speaker A:I try to pick a word every year and I'm not very good at sticking to it and really thinking about it, but I want to do it this year.
Speaker A:So my word this year is simplify.
Speaker A:Simplify.
Speaker A:And what does that mean to me?
Speaker A:Well, to simplify means to take it down to its simplest form.
Speaker A:So if I'm recording a podcast, how can I do it in the most simplest form?
Speaker A:That's not complicated.
Speaker A:Let's not set up everything.
Speaker A:Let's not put obstacles in the way.
Speaker A:If I'm going to meditate, what does that look like?
Speaker A:Just a simple meditation.
Speaker A:Just sit down and shut up.
Speaker A:As Jumpo would say, Stuffu Stuff.
Speaker A:I said, what's stuffu mean?
Speaker A:It's S T F U, you know, shut the fuck up.
Speaker A:So I swear, if you haven't got kids in the car while listening to this and.
Speaker A:But yeah, stuff who just simplify it.
Speaker A:Just take away what don't we need.
Speaker A:And it really goes down to the most complicated things we have to do.
Speaker A:What do I have to do right now?
Speaker A:I don't have to do the whole process.
Speaker A:I just have to talk.
Speaker A:I just have to recognize that thought as a thought.
Speaker A:I just have to phone somebody.
Speaker A:I just have to book that in or so simplify everything.
Speaker A:You know, if that folder doesn't need to be there.
Speaker A:Delete it.
Speaker A:If the side is busy, get rid of a lava.
Speaker A:So that's what I'm going to try to do this year.
Speaker A:I'm going to simplify as much as possible.
Speaker A:So your job this week is to consider what word you're going to have this year.
Speaker A:And it seems dramatic to have a whole year with one word, but it really does work.
Speaker A:And Daicho, one of my teachers, does it every year.
Speaker A:And you can choose anything.
Speaker A:It can be compassion, can be love, it can be overwhelm.
Speaker A:Maybe you want to choose overwhelmed and recognize the overwhelm.
Speaker A:It can be family.
Speaker A:It really doesn't matter.
Speaker A:It's just a word that you're going to go really deep on now.
Speaker A:Then by the end of my year, I'm not going to spend every day studying the word simplify.
Speaker A:But I will look up where it come from, what it really means, and what does it mean for me.
Speaker A:So I think I know what it means.
Speaker A:But in a month or two months, I might look up and go, well, yeah, simplify was way more than I thought it would be.
Speaker A:It's way deeper, it means way more.
Speaker A:What does it give me?
Speaker A:And when you think about things like, I don't know, a compassion, what does compassion mean?
Speaker A:What does it mean to have compassion for myself?
Speaker A:What does it mean to have compassion for others?
Speaker A:What's the difference between compassion and empathy?
Speaker A:I did a podcast on that if you want to look it up.
Speaker A:Or the word love, what does it really mean?
Speaker A:What does it mean to be loved or to love or acceptance, which I prefer acceptance than love, because I think ultimate love is just acceptance.
Speaker A:If you love something, you just accept it.
Speaker A:You don't try to change it in any way.
Speaker A:So what would your word be?
Speaker A:And there's.
Speaker A:So, you know, the English language has got like 271,000 words.
Speaker A:I think we use, on average about 3,000 of them.
Speaker A:So you've got a few words to choose from and you can even go fancy and go for a Latin word.
Speaker A:But I would suggest just keep it an everyday word and just really dive deep into how does this word reduce my suffering?
Speaker A:So how does simplify reduce my suffering?
Speaker A:Because that's the whole spiritual journey, the spiritual journey is about reducing our suffering and reducing the suffering around us.
Speaker A:You know, Buddha said that the Four Noble Truths is, number one, to be alive, to be here, to be part of samsara, the thinking mind.
Speaker A:The ego is to suffer, you will always suffer.
Speaker A:Number two, suffering is because of attachments, because what we want it to be.
Speaker A:It's not because you're attached necessarily to a item or a friend or a partner.
Speaker A:It's because we're attached anyway and we're attached to what we want this position to be.
Speaker A:I'm not happy this moment.
Speaker A:How do I change it?
Speaker A:I'm not happy with my weight or my hair lighter.
Speaker A:Why is it gray?
Speaker A:I want to get rid of this virus.
Speaker A:I want deepen my spiritual journey.
Speaker A:Everything is all about wanting an attachment to it.
Speaker A:So, and then number three, there is an answer to attachment.
Speaker A:There is a solution to it.
Speaker A:And the solution is through meditation and the eight, the Eightfold path, which if you'd like me to please let me know and I'll go through the Eightfold path with you.
Speaker A:But in amongst the Eightfold path, it's all about just living a more humble life, simplifying things, doing things and less suffering.
Speaker A:Every single one of them is about causing less suffering in the world and less suffering to ourselves inside.
Speaker A:So I look at the whole spiritual journey.
Speaker A:If you've got more peace and your anxiety is more under control because you won't get rid of it, it's a beautiful emotional emotion that has evolved over the years to give you absolutely a wonderful teaching.
Speaker A:You know, if you embrace your anxiety, it's telling you something.
Speaker A:It's that seven, eight year old going, hey, watch out for this.
Speaker A:Last time it sucked.
Speaker A:That's not my anxiety voice.
Speaker A:I don't know where that voice come from, but you get the point.
Speaker A:And whether or not it's, you know, courage or fear or shame or all of those things, it's about if you're reducing them, not getting rid of them, just being able to recognize them and go, hi shame.
Speaker A:Hi fear.
Speaker A:How you doing?
Speaker A:What are you teaching me today?
Speaker A:And you could also go, hey, fear, you're right, I'm not going to do that because it's dumb.
Speaker A:You know, that's going to be stupid.
Speaker A:I'm going to get hurt doing that.
Speaker A:So sometimes listen to it, sometimes the anxiety is bang on.
Speaker A:You know, it's not about getting rid of these things, it's about, ah, there's a thought.
Speaker A:I'm not going to spend all day being anxious or being overwhelmed.
Speaker A:I'm going to recognize it and go, ah, hi, thanks for showing up, good advice, take care.
Speaker A:But I've got this.
Speaker A:So.
Speaker A:So if you can choose a word, you know, some of the words you could choose acceptance.
Speaker A:Just fighting against the reality creates pain.
Speaker A:So accepting things exactly as they are allows us to find peace just immediately, just acceptance.
Speaker A:I accept this thought.
Speaker A:I accept this moment.
Speaker A:Gentle.
Speaker A:Just teaching yourself to be gentle with yourself and gentle with those around you.
Speaker A:Just more healthier judging.
Speaker A:So I'm going to just list the words.
Speaker A:I'm not going to go through every word of what they mean, but you could use pause, trust enough, release curiosity.
Speaker A:I love curiosity.
Speaker A:Just be open, curious, what's happening now?
Speaker A:What's happening inside?
Speaker A:Why do they think that way?
Speaker A:You can even use it in sentences every day.
Speaker A:When someone comes up and says something you don't necessarily agree with, just go, I'm curious, why do you feel that way?
Speaker A:And it opens up the depth of conversation ground.
Speaker A:That's a nice word.
Speaker A:Kindness, listen, understanding, compassion.
Speaker A:Any kind of words.
Speaker A:It really doesn't matter what word you want to work on this year.
Speaker A:And this is different than the three words to show up as we'll do another podcast next month on that one.
Speaker A:But my word is simplify.
Speaker A:What's that mean?
Speaker A:In every single moment of my life, how can I simplify this moment?
Speaker A:How can I close 15 tabs on the computer?
Speaker A:Imagine that.
Speaker A:How can I turn off the notifications on my phone?
Speaker A:How can I just simplify this moment?
Speaker A:So there's my podcast.
Speaker A:I'm going to say thank you so much to everybody that supports everybody.
Speaker A:That's part of the weekly calm that is more like every three weeks.
Speaker A:But maybe simplifying things will make things easier.
Speaker A:And as I said in my weekly calm before Christmas, I'm going to get some help with my admin side and my editing side, which is going to make things a whole lot easier.
Speaker A:So I'll be able to release more meditations, more podcasts and.
Speaker A:And that again, it's simplifying things.
Speaker A:So there you go.
Speaker A:I'm just going to.
Speaker A:Your donations help me to do that.
Speaker A:Your donations will pay for some of the things that I struggle to do in Paralyzed.
Speaker A:So thank you for being there.
Speaker A:Thank you for the donations, thank you for the support, the shares, all the comments.
Speaker A:I read them all, whether it's on Spotify, anywhere.
Speaker A:If you could leave a review, that would be awesome.
Speaker A:Leave a review and put your word what you can.
Speaker A:But you can always go to stephenweb.uk and message me.
Speaker A:Always like hearing from you.
Speaker A:Sometimes it takes me a few days to get back to you, but it is what it is.
Speaker A:Inbox.
Speaker A:I don't go there every hour of the day anymore simplifying that.
Speaker A:But I'm just rambling on now.
Speaker A:Take care and happy New Year.
Speaker A:Let's have a peaceful one and let's hear your word.
Speaker A:I love you.
