Podcast: How to Suffer Less Embracing Change on the Spiritual Journey
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In this episode, Steven Webb shares his personal experiences and insights on the spiritual journey. He discusses the difference between pain and suffering, and how mindfulness and compassion can help alleviate the latter. Webb shares his own experiences with heartache, contemplating suicide, and dealing with physical pain due to paralysis. He also explores the concept of a “heart orgasm,” a moment of intense joy and connection with the universe. Webb emphasizes that the spiritual journey deepens our emotional spectrum, allowing us to experience more joy and pain, but also equipping us with resilience. He concludes by stating that happiness is found in the mundane aspects of life, and that through the spiritual journey, one can suffer less and feel more deeply.
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Welcome to “Stillness in the Storms,” a beacon of tranquility amidst life’s turbulence, hosted by your guide, Steven Webb.
Steven is not just an average meditation and mindfulness coach. Having faced severe adversity – becoming paralyzed in a diving accident – he has transformed his life into an inspiring journey of resilience and self-discovery. Now serving as the Mayor of Truro, Steven’s teachings resonate
with the wisdom of Zen Buddhism and practical Stoicism, helping you find inner peace right in the midst of your daily life.
In each episode, Steven’s soothing voice guides you towards a deeper understanding of life and self, turning each storm we face into an opportunity for stillness and growth. This podcast is your sanctuary, your weekly retreat, where the noise of life subsides, and profound understanding takes its place.
For more of Steven’s teachings and updates on the podcast, subscribe to the weekly newsletter on our Website, and consider supporting Steven’s work at thankyousteven.com.
Embark on this transformative journey with us, every Friday at 4 PM. Remember, at “Stillness in the Storms,” serenity is not a destination, but a journey.
Welcome to episode 94.
Steven Webb:I can't believe 94 episodes.
Steven Webb:It only feels like I've done 20.
Steven Webb:Anyway.
Steven Webb:Welcome to episode 94 of Stillness in the Storms.
Steven Webb:I'm Steven Weour host, and it's the podcast that helps
Steven Webb:you to find the little inner piece when you need it most.
Steven Webb:And on today's episode, we're talking about how to suffer less.
Steven Webb:Embracing change, especially on the spiritual journey.
Steven Webb:And I think the spiritual journey sometimes gets a bad rep, and
Steven Webb:I think it's misunderstood.
Steven Webb:So I'm going to explain it from what the spiritual journey meant
Steven Webb:to me, what it means to me when I say we're gonna suffer less,
Steven Webb:but we might feel more pain.
Steven Webb:And we'll just look at about building resilience and, and we'll also go.
Steven Webb:And talk a little bit about spiritual bypassing, what that
Steven Webb:is and why it's not a good idea.
Steven Webb:So just before that, I want to give you a little bit of news.
Steven Webb:100 episode is coming up and I've got something quite nicely
Steven Webb:planned for that episode.
Steven Webb:But I wanna say thank you to everyone that gives me a virtual hug, which is
Steven Webb:effectively treating me to a coffee, donating and helping with the podcast.
Steven Webb:Thank you guys.
Steven Webb:It's really deeply appreciated.
Steven Webb:Now then this week I did something a little bit different.
Steven Webb:There was a homeless guy that I've known for quite a while, and he's
Steven Webb:finding it difficult to see his screen on his little phone, so, With your
Steven Webb:money I bought him a tablet, which is going to be delivered in the morning,
Steven Webb:and I'm gonna take it down to him.
Steven Webb:So that's what I've done with your money this week.
Steven Webb:So I haven't been on social media.
Steven Webb:I'm not gonna take a picture.
Steven Webb:I'm not interested in any of those things.
Steven Webb:I just simply wanted to say to you, that's what I've done
Steven Webb:with your money this week.
Steven Webb:So thank you, you know.
Steven Webb:It really does make a difference when you donate to this podcast.
Steven Webb:Not only does it help me, not only does it help me, I'm trying to save
Steven Webb:up for my camera thing, but it also, I, I want to reduce suffering, and if
Steven Webb:I can reduce suffering in some way, helping the guy see as I player or
Steven Webb:watch bbc, things like that, instead of just squinting on his phone.
Steven Webb:Know, that's reducing suffering.
Steven Webb:You can reduce suffering in all kinds of ways.
Steven Webb:It doesn't have to be deep and powerful and meaningful.
Steven Webb:It can be a little way, you know, any other way.
Steven Webb:But let's get on with today's show, let's talk about how to
Steven Webb:suffer less embracing change on the spiritual journey.
Steven Webb:Now then, first of all, I'm gonna share a bit of my story.
Steven Webb:And the reason why I say that we can suffer less, but we feel more, when I
Steven Webb:started on a spiritual journey, I did not know it was a spiritual journey.
Steven Webb:I'm not religious.
Steven Webb:I don't believe in a deity up there, a God.
Steven Webb:I don't really, I don't know what I really believe in.
Steven Webb:I just, I'm very much a science-based person.
Steven Webb:Just because I don't know it, just because I cannot prove it,
Steven Webb:doesn't mean to say it's not real.
Steven Webb:So I'm not gonna argue with you, but I do like to have some kind of tangible
Steven Webb:reason for believing something so, And, but if I feel something
Steven Webb:deeply, then I'm not gonna deny it.
Steven Webb:I'm not gonna run away from it.
Steven Webb:So my whole practice really turned out to be Zen and Buddhism, and that's
Steven Webb:because I just like mindfulness.
Steven Webb:I like to stop and smell the roses.
Steven Webb:So to use a phrase that's probably well overused, but that
Steven Webb:is really, really important.
Steven Webb:When I'm driving down the hill, I look at a leaf, I look at the color
Steven Webb:and go, wow, look at the color.
Steven Webb:How did that leaf fall there?
Steven Webb:How did it get that journey?
Steven Webb:How did, and it just reduces my suffering because in the
Steven Webb:current moment, we are very likely not to be suffering.
Steven Webb:Right now you are listening to this podcast.
Steven Webb:You are not really suffering.
Steven Webb:You know, if you are really suffering and you are burning, or something's
Steven Webb:really going wrong in your life right now and you are taking time out to
Steven Webb:listen to the podcast, something's not quite right, but we feel like we're
Steven Webb:suffering all the time, and we want to get rid of that suffering now.
Steven Webb:Then when I set off on my spiritual journey, I wanted to get rid of
Steven Webb:pain, and there's a difference between pain and suffering.
Steven Webb:You know, just to get rid of all the pain.
Steven Webb:I didn't wanna feel anything anymore.
Steven Webb:I was, I went for a particularly, I'm gonna say nasty, split up,
Steven Webb:but it wasn't a nasty split up.
Steven Webb:The split up was clean.
Steven Webb:They didn't cheat or anything.
Steven Webb:There wasn't any kind of bad thing like this.
Steven Webb:It was just unexpected.
Steven Webb:And it did, it hurt really, really badly.
Steven Webb:And because they didn't prolong it, they didn't keep coming
Steven Webb:back to me and things like that.
Steven Webb:They basically cut off all ties and I could not contact them.
Steven Webb:It was really painful and I didn't wanna think about it.
Steven Webb:I didn't want to think about what they were up to, what they
Steven Webb:were doing, and that was my pain.
Steven Webb:I, I literally couldn't sleep.
Steven Webb:I started drinking alcohol.
Steven Webb:I just, I was doing anything to avoid pain.
Steven Webb:To the point that yes, I did contemplate suicide, I
Steven Webb:contemplated not so much taking my life, but I contemplated
Steven Webb:reducing my suffering to a point.
Steven Webb:I wanted to get rid of the pain.
Steven Webb:Luckily, something stepped in and stopped me and gone, you know, maybe
Steven Webb:the pain won't be there tomorrow or the next day or next year.
Steven Webb:Maybe.
Steven Webb:The wisdom I had for my teenage years and feeling a lot of heartache
Steven Webb:brain, I kind of knew down the road that it wasn't permanent.
Steven Webb:But it feels like it's permanent when we're in it.
Steven Webb:Right?
Steven Webb:Really does feel like it's permanent.
Steven Webb:So I, all I wanted to do was reduce my pain and I ended up reading a
Steven Webb:book that was on my iPad, which is really unusual because I don't read.
Steven Webb:I was diagnosed dyslexic when I was about nine years old by
Steven Webb:wonderful, wonderful teacher, Mrs.
Steven Webb:Hoban.
Steven Webb:And.
Steven Webb:Incidentally, I've met up with her since when I become mayor.
Steven Webb:She contacted me and said, and when I got that email through, in the email
Steven Webb:said, I think I used to teach you.
Steven Webb:And I, and I went straight to the teacher name at the bottom.
Steven Webb:Of course you do.
Steven Webb:Cause you wanna know who it is.
Steven Webb:It's just emailed you.
Steven Webb:And they said, Mrs.
Steven Webb:Hoban.
Steven Webb:I was like, oh my God.
Steven Webb:Yes you did.
Steven Webb:You were the one that made such a massive difference in my life
Steven Webb:and I just bald my eyes out.
Steven Webb:I couldn't even read the email.
Steven Webb:I'm wondering whether it shed the story, but basically I
Steven Webb:just got to a new school.
Steven Webb:I was pretty much bullied in that school.
Steven Webb:I didn't fit in.
Steven Webb:I used to sit at the back, very quiet.
Steven Webb:And the teacher did something new that wasn't happening in my other
Steven Webb:school, and they would write on the board and when they got to
Steven Webb:the bottom, they would scrub out the top and I could never keep up.
Steven Webb:So I was writing it word for word.
Steven Webb:I could never keep up.
Steven Webb:And I was writing not what she was writing on the board and.
Steven Webb:Having just been away in London or something.
Steven Webb:She told me this story when we met up just last year.
Steven Webb:She said having been away in London or she knew a friend
Steven Webb:from London or something.
Steven Webb:They talked about this dyslexia and she said, I think you are dyslexic.
Steven Webb:And of course I am.
Steven Webb:I can read.
Steven Webb:So when someone says, read that out to me, I can read it to you,
Steven Webb:but I dunno what I just read.
Steven Webb:My brain cannot read it and understand it.
Steven Webb:So I can literally read a page and it might mention the character and
Steven Webb:they might be going on a canoeing trip down the river and someone
Steven Webb:said, well, what's the character's name and what were they doing?
Steven Webb:I'd be like, I don't know.
Steven Webb:It took all my focus just to read it.
Steven Webb:So I'd tell you this story because I found a book on my
Steven Webb:iPad called As a Man Thinker.
Steven Webb:It was only about, I dunno, 40, 50 pages, but it was all about.
Steven Webb:You're not what you think and you have control over
Steven Webb:what you do or your thoughts.
Steven Webb:So this book gave me a profound, deep insight while me having to read
Steven Webb:each paragraph 20, 30 times, which was brilliant because I fell asleep.
Steven Webb:So not only did I need to hear this about 20 or 30 times, I
Steven Webb:needed something to fall asleep better than whiskey or alcohol
Steven Webb:that I was drinking at the time.
Steven Webb:Southern Comfort, it was.
Steven Webb:Ugh, whiskey.
Steven Webb:Who drinks that?
Steven Webb:Okay.
Steven Webb:If you drink whiskey, I'm fine with you drinking whiskey.
Steven Webb:I just don't like it.
Steven Webb:It's a bit strong for me.
Steven Webb:Southern Comfort and Coke, that's mine.
Steven Webb:Nice and sweet.
Steven Webb:You know, I don't drink anymore.
Steven Webb:I don't drink anything anyway.
Steven Webb:You know me.
Steven Webb:I keep going off.
Steven Webb:So that was the start of my spiritual journey.
Steven Webb:I didn't know it was a spiritual journey.
Steven Webb:All I wanted to do was reduce my suffering and
Steven Webb:while reducing my suffering.
Steven Webb:It gave rise to my seven year old self to be able to care more about others,
Steven Webb:to open my heart, to just have more compassion and empathy for others.
Steven Webb:Suddenly I was starting, I was starting to feel the
Steven Webb:pain of everything in the world, you know, a new story.
Steven Webb:It cost the other side of the world was really debilitating me.
Steven Webb:It's like, how can we live in a world like this that these
Steven Webb:kind of things are happening?
Steven Webb:And then the spiritual journey went on to be less
Steven Webb:empathy and more compassion.
Steven Webb:So, Compassion is about what's happening with them as opposed to us.
Steven Webb:Empathy, very much, and I speak about this on a few other
Steven Webb:podcasts, if you search through my podcast, empathy is about us.
Steven Webb:It's like what I'm feeling for you, it's about me.
Steven Webb:Ironically, we think it's about them, but it's not.
Steven Webb:It's really about us, what we are feeling for them.
Steven Webb:So empathy is someone comes over to you and says, do
Steven Webb:not, I'm really tired today.
Steven Webb:I cannot cope anymore.
Steven Webb:I need, and they look up and go, yeah, I'm the same.
Steven Webb:So immediately flip it around.
Steven Webb:It's about them.
Steven Webb:What they think they're doing is giving you like comfort.
Steven Webb:They, they think they're matching your feelings and all of that, and
Steven Webb:they think they're giving you empathy.
Steven Webb:But they're feeling what you are feeling, but they're not
Steven Webb:actually having compassion for what you're feeling.
Steven Webb:It's kind of complicated and I probably don't explain it very well.
Steven Webb:Let me know if I do in any of the comments.
Steven Webb:Email me, let me know.
Steven Webb:If I do go to steven webb.com and there's a contact me if
Steven Webb:this makes sense or do I need to elaborate on it a little bit more.
Steven Webb:But anyway, going back to the compassion thing, suddenly I
Steven Webb:add more compassion for people.
Steven Webb:I had a lot of deep empathy, but I wasn't being pushed
Steven Webb:around by the empathy.
Steven Webb:It wasn't affecting my life quite so much.
Steven Webb:So if someone said to me, and I'm not always like this, don't get me wrong.
Steven Webb:If someone come and said, I'm tired, and I'm tired as well, sometimes
Steven Webb:I'd go, yeah, I'm tired too.
Steven Webb:So I'm not always this saint with compassion and all that.
Steven Webb:In actual fact, very rarely I am.
Steven Webb:And this is why I'm working on it.
Steven Webb:You know, you may see me as my life is all sorted, I'm all calm and
Steven Webb:think, no, it's, this work is ongoing.
Steven Webb:It's, you know, it'll never be done.
Steven Webb:You never get there.
Steven Webb:But that's a whole different show.
Steven Webb:So I try to have a little more compassion with it without
Steven Webb:the empathy pushing me around.
Steven Webb:Doesn't always work, but that's the genuine spiritual journey,
Steven Webb:is having compassion without having to make it about ourselves.
Steven Webb:So what does compassion look like?
Steven Webb:And this is where Brene Brown sums it up brilliantly in one of her books.
Steven Webb:You know, if you have empathy, you sit back, sit down with them and
Steven Webb:go, yeah, I'm feeling the same.
Steven Webb:Compassion is, yeah.
Steven Webb:That must be tough.
Steven Webb:No, there's the difference.
Steven Webb:Just imagine if you came over to me and said to me, oh, I broke my leg.
Steven Webb:And I, and I look at and go, yeah, I broke my leg once.
Steven Webb:It's like, how does that feel if you come over to me
Steven Webb:and said, I broke my leg.
Steven Webb:It's really painful.
Steven Webb:And I went, yeah, that must be rough.
Steven Webb:How are you coping?
Steven Webb:Boom.
Steven Webb:The difference is huge.
Steven Webb:One's empathy, one's compassion.
Steven Webb:And this is where the genuine spiritual journey has to drive
Steven Webb:us more towards compassion and understanding for others as opposed
Steven Webb:to the first part of the spiritual journey, which is about ourselves.
Steven Webb:And you have to go through these levels.
Steven Webb:You cannot just jump to one, and you'll fluctuate, you'll do all this.
Steven Webb:But my spiritual journey, I wanted to reduce my suffering,
Steven Webb:but in reducing my suffering, I felt things deeper, way deeper.
Steven Webb:So I just misunderstood the spiritual journey.
Steven Webb:And that's my explanation.
Steven Webb:That's where I am suffering a whole lot less.
Steven Webb:I do suffer sometimes, but I suffer a less, do I feel pain?
Steven Webb:Yeah.
Steven Webb:I feel huge amount of pain when I hear about terrible things that are going
Steven Webb:on that boat that sunk with what?
Steven Webb:300 people?
Steven Webb:How horrible.
Steven Webb:Imagine that.
Steven Webb:Imagine being one of them.
Steven Webb:You're setting off on the most, one of these exciting
Steven Webb:but treacherous journeys.
Steven Webb:And then suddenly you're seeing everybody around you
Steven Webb:dying and you go in the water.
Steven Webb:How horrible.
Steven Webb:And the people in the submarine, all of these things and the people
Steven Webb:in Ukraine we feel for it all.
Steven Webb:But do we let it debilitate us?
Steven Webb:Do, do we let it paralyze us in what we can do?
Steven Webb:No, there's nothing I can do about that thing right now.
Steven Webb:And it's not a fight that I'm choosing to take on.
Steven Webb:I cannot take on every fight.
Steven Webb:You cannot take on every fight.
Steven Webb:So you choose what fight to take on.
Steven Webb:That's the genuine spiritual journey, and take on your own first, reduce
Steven Webb:your suffering, and then you won't put your suffering onto others.
Steven Webb:Does that, that's really important actually.
Steven Webb:I never thought about that.
Steven Webb:That wasn't even in my notes.
Steven Webb:So deal with your pain, deal with your suffering, and then
Steven Webb:you'll still deal with pain.
Steven Webb:You'll feel it so much deeper, but you are able to help others.
Steven Webb:You are able to hold space forever.
Steven Webb:Others, it's not a matter of fixing their pain.
Steven Webb:Someone comes to me with a broken leg, I'm not a doctor.
Steven Webb:I'm like, yeah, okay, I'll fix that.
Steven Webb:No, they just want someone probably to go, yeah, that sucks.
Steven Webb:How are you coping?
Steven Webb:That's healing itself.
Steven Webb:Hope that makes sense.
Steven Webb:So the spiritual journey is about deepening your emotional spectrum.
Steven Webb:You feel things on the other side much better.
Steven Webb:You feel more joy, you feel more excitement.
Steven Webb:The enlightenment, the heart.
Steven Webb:Orgasms.
Steven Webb:It was called One Day to Me, you know, have you ever had a heart orgasm?
Steven Webb:I was like, no, that's interesting.
Steven Webb:What's that?
Steven Webb:And they said, it's when you are sitting or you're driving
Steven Webb:somewhere, you're doing something and you feel that amazing, and
Steven Webb:you feel this radiant light coming from within and you feel warm and
Steven Webb:you feel comfortable, and it's just, everything's in place and
Steven Webb:you're in tune with the universe, and the energy is just perfect.
Steven Webb:I was like, yeah, normally when I'm out in the car or listening to
Steven Webb:my favorite music and reminiscing and you see a butterfly and
Steven Webb:you just feel absolutely great.
Steven Webb:Yes.
Steven Webb:So apparently it's called a heart orgasm.
Steven Webb:Who knew?
Steven Webb:But yeah.
Steven Webb:Have you ever had a heart orgasm?
Steven Webb:That's one way of like actually starting up a conversation.
Steven Webb:You just go up to someone.
Steven Webb:Oh, by the way, how's your spiritual journey going?
Steven Webb:Have you ever had a heart orgasm?
Steven Webb:That'd be funny, wouldn't it?
Steven Webb:If you ever bum into me in person, ask me that.
Steven Webb:That'd be so funny.
Steven Webb:A, I'd know you listening to my podcast, and B, my face
Steven Webb:would probably just like, Okay.
Steven Webb:You know, our chimp in our minds always go to that place, don't it?
Steven Webb:You know?
Steven Webb:Always does.
Steven Webb:Well, mine does.
Steven Webb:I'm projecting now.
Steven Webb:But anyway, so what else is about the spiritual journey?
Steven Webb:So we deepen our emotion.
Steven Webb:We build a spectrum of more joy, more pain, but we
Steven Webb:don't stay there very often.
Steven Webb:So we also build resilience.
Steven Webb:And the resilience is, we know things will change, so we're okay with it
Steven Webb:because we know we've already got it.
Steven Webb:We know we've already dealt with it.
Steven Webb:We know down the line things will be okay and it's not permanent.
Steven Webb:You know, I'm paralyzed just below my neck.
Steven Webb:And one of the things we're paralyzed is your body
Steven Webb:functions don't always work.
Steven Webb:And one of the most difficult things I go through probably
Steven Webb:once or twice a month is when my.
Steven Webb:Now then, I'm sorry to give you this image, but Well, my bowels and all
Steven Webb:don't work properly and the worst case scenario, and I'm lying on
Steven Webb:my bed and the carers have had to clean me up several times and it
Steven Webb:is an absolute bloody nightmare.
Steven Webb:And I'm lying down and I'm in pain.
Steven Webb:I got massive headache.
Steven Webb:It's just the worst case scenario.
Steven Webb:And if my life was that, I, I dunno if I'd like to live, but I know.
Steven Webb:I have the wisdom because of the spiritual journey, because of all
Steven Webb:these things that my life isn't that, that's parts of my life.
Steven Webb:I ex, that's an experience in my life.
Steven Webb:It's not my life.
Steven Webb:So I know by lunchtime or by tea time, I'll be up in the
Steven Webb:chair and things will not be that bad, and it's that simple.
Steven Webb:Okay?
Steven Webb:I dunno if it's that simple, but certainly more
Steven Webb:difficult for my carers.
Steven Webb:But yeah, sometimes when I'm in pain, sometimes when life is really,
Steven Webb:really tough, I've gotta remember that this isn't permanent and
Steven Webb:that's that emotional resilience.
Steven Webb:So what is spiritual bypassing?
Steven Webb:Spiritual bypassing is a concept by John Wellwood, and what
Steven Webb:John says is ba, basically it's denying their emotions.
Steven Webb:Denying these deep emotions.
Steven Webb:I don't wanna feel them because I wanna feel joy all the time.
Steven Webb:So I'm gonna get rid of my pain.
Steven Webb:And I often come across these people that will hug trees and
Steven Webb:I'm love and I'm this spiritual person that just feels happy.
Steven Webb:And how long does it last you think to yourself, how many times have you
Steven Webb:done it that you are in a good place and you think that's it, and then
Steven Webb:suddenly, boom, what bottom again?
Steven Webb:Because it will always, it will always come up, you know,
Steven Webb:sure as hell as taxes and government will do dumb things.
Steven Webb:You're gonna hit rock bottom again and again, and it may
Steven Webb:not be bang on rock bottom.
Steven Webb:The spiritual journey just makes us bounce a little higher and a
Steven Webb:little quicker, you know, instead of tumbling along the bottom.
Steven Webb:That's a good analogy for the suffering.
Steven Webb:So suffering is when you hit the bottom and you bumble
Steven Webb:along, scraping and hurting.
Steven Webb:The spiritual journey is you bounce off the bottom and you come back.
Steven Webb:I love it.
Steven Webb:That works, doesn't it?
Steven Webb:You know, I feel like I need to change the title of the podcast now.
Steven Webb:You know, the bouncing ball of the spiritual journey.
Steven Webb:I just love it.
Steven Webb:It's brilliant.
Steven Webb:It works.
Steven Webb:But yeah, you can see what I mean though.
Steven Webb:The spiritual journey is not about less suffering, and if you're
Steven Webb:trying to deny those feelings and you are trying to deny
Steven Webb:these feelings of deepness, you won't get the feelings of joy.
Steven Webb:It's like taking antidepressants and I've, I taken
Steven Webb:antidepressants twice in my life.
Steven Webb:I am not against them.
Steven Webb:I, I think they're right.
Steven Webb:With a doctor.
Steven Webb:If a doctor offers them, I think you should take them.
Steven Webb:I think it's part of getting over a, a moment in your life.
Steven Webb:I think I'm not against them when I hit rock bottom with my bankruptcy.
Steven Webb:I took antidepressants for a year and it really helped me out.
Steven Webb:But what they do is they, they dule your feelings, they dull
Steven Webb:your pain, and they dule your joy.
Steven Webb:So, You know, you ain't gonna have those heart orgasms if
Steven Webb:you are on antidepressants because you don't get there.
Steven Webb:You don't have that rush and vice versa.
Steven Webb:You don't have to think.
Steven Webb:So it keeps you in that spectrum in the middle.
Steven Webb:So the spiritual journey is about opening up and experiencing all
Steven Webb:these, and the problem is the sp, the bypassing, the spiritual journey will
Steven Webb:mean you either fall into it deeply.
Steven Webb:And you'll find it really hard to get out because you
Steven Webb:haven't built the resilience, you haven't felt it properly.
Steven Webb:It will come up.
Steven Webb:Or you go into that joy part and you try to cling onto it so hard
Steven Webb:that you cannot you're so fearful of letting go because you're in
Steven Webb:this wonderful moment of joy.
Steven Webb:Yeah, I know friends that literally find it really difficult to go in
Steven Webb:amongst the most difficult times because they haven't built the
Steven Webb:resilience to be able to be there.
Steven Webb:Now, if you can be with your family, if you can be with the
Steven Webb:most difficult people in your life, I'm not saying my carer's the most
Steven Webb:difficult people, they're not.
Steven Webb:But I've got people that are around me nearly all the time that I wouldn't
Steven Webb:overly choose to be around that much.
Steven Webb:You know, I love them to bits, but they're not my partners that they're
Steven Webb:not people that you overly choose.
Steven Webb:They're paid to look after me and be around me.
Steven Webb:So they're my bodhisattvas . They're people that teach me constantly that
Steven Webb:you know that life is in that middle of not always sunshine and roses.
Steven Webb:That little bit of friction.
Steven Webb:Teaching me it's not always perfect, and what it gives me is that
Steven Webb:ability to be with them and still be in a place of happiness with
Steven Webb:that happiness line in the middle.
Steven Webb:And the happiness line is not above where it's all joy and happy.
Steven Webb:It's not.
Steven Webb:It's in the mundane, it's in the doing the who ring.
Steven Webb:It's in the conversations that I'm not that exciting.
Steven Webb:It's in the normalness of every day.
Steven Webb:That's where the happiness is because, If you are there and then you suddenly
Steven Webb:have a bad day and you go below it, you'll suddenly realize, oh, I
Steven Webb:just wanna get back to the mundane.
Steven Webb:I long for the day when I can just pick up the
Steven Webb:Hoover and Hoover my house.
Steven Webb:Think about it.
Steven Webb:How many times have you just wanted to get back to doing the dishes
Steven Webb:when something goes badly wrong?
Steven Webb:Yeah, and that's what it's about.
Steven Webb:It's realizing that happiness is in the mundane, that you'll feel
Steven Webb:things deeply both ends and you'll suffer a whole lot less because
Steven Webb:you won't be scraping along a bottom like that bouncing ball.
Steven Webb:I hope that helps.
Steven Webb:If this podcast helps you in any way, please subscribe.
Steven Webb:Please leave a review.
Steven Webb:Let me know.
Steven Webb:That makes what I'm doing well, what I'm not doing well, and.
Steven Webb:Yeah, I've got another podcast, inner Peace Meditations, and just
Steven Webb:search for it on your favorite podcasting platform, apple or Spotify.
Steven Webb:And if you wanna support me in what I do, bring in less suffering to
Steven Webb:the world, more joy, more deeper feelings, then you can always head
Steven Webb:over to thankyousteven.com and all my links are there and you
Steven Webb:can treat me to a virtual hug.
Steven Webb:You are awesome.
Steven Webb:Thank you.
Steven Webb:And.
Steven Webb:Talking about the feeling things deeply.
