What Rises When You Stop Pushing

0:01Steven Webb: Hello, and welcome to Stillness in the Storms. I'm Steven Webb and I help people find steady ground when life

0:09Steven Webb: gets hard. No gimmicks, no life hacks. Just honest conversation that will bring you peace when you need it most.

0:16Steven Webb: So happy Easter if you celebrate it. And if you don't, happy Sunday. Happy April. Happy. Clocks

0:24Steven Webb: have changed and it's light past seven. If you're in the UK, I don't know when the clocks change. Over

0:31Steven Webb: in the States or in Australia. So I want to talk about something that spring always reminds me of.

0:39Steven Webb: When the daffodils start appearing on the roadside. Especially in the places that I forgot they were last year. I

0:46Steven Webb: forgot the buds were just waiting in dormant all winter long. They just start appearing. It's like oh that's nice,

0:53Steven Webb: just give me that warm. And I love the fact that it's so bright and so yellow. It's such a

0:59Steven Webb: simple. And they give us such a life lesson that, hey, you know, I might be beside a roadside, I

1:05Steven Webb: might even be leaning on the pavement, but I'm gonna bloom anyway. Yeah. I don't care what you say. I

1:11Steven Webb: don't care if my neighbour beside me is taller and brighter than me. I am gonna blossom anyway. And I

1:17Steven Webb: think that's we can Learn so much from just that alone. So when all these times when we look and

1:24Steven Webb: think things are done and things are over, you know, the daffodil comes up and says, I wasn't done. I

1:31Steven Webb: was just waiting. And I think that's what I want to talk about today. What rises, what comes back, what

1:38Steven Webb: returns to us, not because we force it, but because that's what life does when we stop standing in

1:46Steven Webb: its way. And because it's Easter and whatever your relationship with that is, whether it's a deeply meaningful to you

1:54Steven Webb: or just a long weekend off and some chocolate, you know, it is a mix of chocolate and a long

2:00Steven Webb: weekend and reflection. For me, there's something in the story that I think is worth sitting with. And even if

2:08Steven Webb: you're not religious, even if you It's not anything in particular. The central image of Easter is something about

2:16Steven Webb: coming back to life. Something that was dead, something that seemed dead or was buried, rising

2:24Steven Webb: again. And you don't have to believe in the literal resurrection to feel the pull of that idea, because

2:31Steven Webb: we've all experienced it. So think about it. Think about something in your life that you were sure

2:39Steven Webb: was over. Maybe it was your energy, even. Maybe just through a period of illness, grief or burnout

2:47Steven Webb: or depression, whatever it Was. And you genuinely thought, do you know what? I'm not going to feel myself again.

2:54Steven Webb: That's it. I'm never going to feel better. There's times when I felt that in hospital last week. And there's

3:02Steven Webb: times when it's really cold outside. I'm like, do you know, is summer ever going to be here again? Are

3:09Steven Webb: we ever going to hear the birds again? And we do. We do think those things at times it's only

3:13Steven Webb: human nature. And it must have been a morning where you woke up and you. And the dread. Wasn't there

3:21Steven Webb: an afternoon where you caught yourself laughing and thought, oh, there I am. There you are.

3:28Steven Webb: So maybe it was even a relationship. Maybe it has gone cold or distance maybe it was a friend or

3:35Steven Webb: something like that that just suddenly called you out of the blue because they were doing something that reminded you,

3:41Steven Webb: or they just sent you an emoji whatever it is, and it just cracked open again. A conversation, a crisis

3:48Steven Webb: a moment of unexpected honesty. You know, all these things just have a tendency to suddenly

3:56Steven Webb: come back. Some of them great, some of them celebrated, some of them not so perfect, and some of them

4:04Steven Webb: not like before, but alive nevertheless. Or maybe it was curiosity, that feeling of being

4:11Steven Webb: genuinely interested doing something wanting to learn to read and explore. It goes away sometimes, doesn't it?

4:19Steven Webb: Sometimes I'm reading books and I cannot put a book down. Other times I think, I haven't picked that book

4:25Steven Webb: up for months. I suddenly get back into it. Music. I was listening to music the other night, and I

4:31Steven Webb: was listening to Don't Fear the Reaper, Blue Oyster Cult. And I didn't know they said Reaper. I I thought

4:38Steven Webb: don't fear the reburst And now I heard it on Tv and it had the subtitles and it said Reaper.

4:45Steven Webb: And I'm like, oh, wow, how obvious is that? Now I cannot unhear it now. I just hear Reaper. Now

4:52Steven Webb: it's correct. But, yeah, it's. These things just suddenly come back and we enjoy them. We sit in them. These

4:59Steven Webb: things remind us of things. And a distant memory. And Alan Watts and, you know, I like listening to Alan

5:07Steven Webb: Watts. He's another one that I don't listen to for months and years and suddenly go back and I cannot

5:13Steven Webb: put his teachings down. And he talked about this rhythm rhythm constantly. He saw it everywhere in nature, in

5:20Steven Webb: psychology, in the way human beings actually live when they're not trying to control everything. I think

5:28Steven Webb: this is important. When you stop controlling,

5:31Steven Webb: life has a way of. I I don't drive along the road and go, where are those daffodils? Come on,

5:37Steven Webb: Pop up. I don't look at the bare tree and go, where's your leaf? Come on, what you're doing. I

5:43Steven Webb: just trust that spring will come along eventually. And

5:48Steven Webb: they use the image of waves. A wave rises, crests and falls. And if you're watching just one wave,

5:55Steven Webb: you might think, well, that's it, it's gone. But of course another wave comes in and another. The ocean doesn't

6:03Steven Webb: run out of waves it's just It just doesn't work that way. Whether it's in our own lives, whether it's

6:11Steven Webb: in our own spiritual journey and we're in more compassion or a country or anything when it comes to progress,

6:18Steven Webb: I think it's much like the tide coming in. You get a one big wave and it's like, wow, this

6:25Steven Webb: is new, this is amazing. And then the tide comes out get back out and it readjusts and it comes

6:30Steven Webb: back in and it comes back in slightly further. And then for each wave it advances slightly more. But it's

6:38Steven Webb: never perfect. And then I'm really milking this metaphor now, but I'm going to carry on. It's my podcast, I'm

6:45Steven Webb: allowed so and And then you've even got the tides themselves. It's like everything humans do, like whether it's

6:53Steven Webb: the Internet or whatever we do, when the telephone first come out, everybody panics and Ai now people are panicking,

7:00Steven Webb: people are thinking, the end of the world. Or we've had things for the last 80 years that will destroy

7:06Steven Webb: mankind. I have a trust that we will sort it out, but it'll be messy. It's gonna mess up the

7:12Steven Webb: beach, it's gonna mess up some people that weren't ready for it, that didn't realise the waves were coming in.

7:18Steven Webb: And it's not going to be good, it's not going to be pretty. But eventually a tide will come in

7:24Steven Webb: and we'll go, we're okay with this now, we've got it soiled we've got some rules.

7:29Steven Webb: And yeah, I'd say that we're really heavy heart at the moment because I think as Margaret facture said if

7:37Steven Webb: you don't have international law, you then have nothing left. And I'm starting to worry about international law at the

7:43Steven Webb: moment. I always thought the western countries would always abide by international law, but hey, here we are, that's a

7:51Steven Webb: different story. So going back to Alan what's great insight. I do have to keep coming back to year after

7:58Steven Webb: year and it is not separate to the rhythm. We are that rhythm, the rising and folding of energy, of

8:05Steven Webb: mood, of hope, of creativity. It's not a simple problem to be solved. It's not like, oh,

8:13Steven Webb: I need creativity. It's here. It's here forever. It comes and goes. Everything is in those waves. The trouble comes

8:21Steven Webb: when we get attached to the crest, when we think the high point is real and that's where we are

8:27Steven Webb: and that's where we need to stay. That moment of, I've got it now. I'm happy, I'm in that brilliant

8:34Steven Webb: place. Then we grip the good feeling and panic when it fades and

8:42Steven Webb: we fall off it and we fall off our surfboard, just to go even deeper on the metaphor, because of

8:48Steven Webb: course, it fades. Everything does. But fading is not the same as dying. It's just another

8:56Steven Webb: wave, another way of coming back in, another way of improving things. It's just another

9:04Steven Webb: chance. And at this point, I want to say something to anyone who's at a low point right now, anyone

9:11Steven Webb: who is in that falling part of the way, because I know some of you are.

9:17Steven Webb: And Easter can be a difficult time when you're struggling. All of this talk of new life and renewal and

9:24Steven Webb: fresh starts, it can feel like pressure, like everyone else is rising and you're still in the ground, still buried,

9:32Steven Webb: still waiting for something that doesn't seem to be coming. Especially if you had a particularly harsh

9:40Steven Webb: winter and maybe lost somebody you loved or something like that.

9:45Steven Webb: And I want to say this clearly as I can. You're not behind, you're not broken. You're

9:53Steven Webb: not failing to rise on schedule. The seed doesn't bloom just because someone stands over it and

10:01Steven Webb: says, come on, hurry up, it's spring. I know I'm really milking these metaphors this week, but I

10:08Steven Webb: like metaphors. They work for me.

10:11Steven Webb: Things bloom when they're ready, when conditions are right. And you

10:17Steven Webb: may not even be somebody that likes the spring in the winter because if something happened. That's okay. But

10:23Steven Webb: there is pressure.

10:27Steven Webb: And when the warmth reaches the depth, that is enough for you. That's it. But it

10:35Steven Webb: has to be individual. And that's the point of all these things. Not all trees bloom at the same time.

10:40Steven Webb: You know, you often drive down the road and most of the daffodils have already bloomed and out. And you

10:45Steven Webb: get one on the end just coming through going Hey wait for me. That's okay.

10:53Steven Webb: Your job right now is just not to force it. I just wanted to say that and make it clear

10:57Steven Webb: that just because spring comes along and everybody feels better. And then, of course, in the. Over in Australia, which

11:04Steven Webb: a lot of you are listening for, I love you guys over there, and you're going into winter so it's

11:10Steven Webb: completely different for you. So really, really, what you should do is not listen to my podcast for six months

11:17Steven Webb: and then start listening to them, and then they will make sense um Please don't do that. Please don't do

11:23Steven Webb: that. I need your support.

11:27Steven Webb: Anyway, talking about support, I want to stop here and say thank you. This podcast has no adverts, no sponsors.

11:35Steven Webb: It exists because of people like you. Treat me to a coffee. Those small donations pay for everything and they're

11:42Steven Webb: making my life a lot easier to produce more podcasts, as you noticed.

11:47Steven Webb: So a genuine, heartfelt thank you goes out to you guys this week. Rosie, a new monthly supporter greet Soja

11:55Steven Webb: Sadie, Rochelle and Helen, you guys are awesome. You are the reason this podcast this week exists.

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12:37Steven Webb: So. God, I feel my heart beating fast, like as if I'm really nervous today. Don't know why. It's like

12:44Steven Webb: as if I'm recording this podcast in front of thousands of people and I'm just talking of you, just me

12:49Steven Webb: and you. So what does it mean in practice? What does it actually look like to let things rise rather

12:56Steven Webb: than forcing them? Well, I think it starts with paying attention.

13:01Steven Webb: Really paying attention to what's actually happening, what's already happening, rather than what you think should be happening.

13:10Steven Webb: And spring is a good teacher here. Nobody tells the daffodils when to come up. Nobody schedules the dawn chorus.

13:18Steven Webb: These things happen because the conditions are right and life does what it does. Those chemical balances in the

13:26Steven Webb: trees that just sat there and waited.

13:28Steven Webb: And if you actually watch spring, not as scenery, not as a background, but as something to pay real good

13:36Steven Webb: attention to,

13:38Steven Webb: you've started to notice that renewal is not dramatic. It's not a sudden explosion of colour and energy that we

13:45Steven Webb: seem to think it is. It's slow, it's gradual, it's one bud at a time. Some of them come out

13:53Steven Webb: early and that's it, they're done. Because they misjudged it. I think. I shared two weeks ago, a week ago,

13:59Steven Webb: the Scandinavian Proverb that winter returns in spring seven times before summer. Well, tell that to the

14:07Steven Webb: daffodil that shot up early or thing I

14:12Steven Webb: just go out and hear those bird songs at the moment. I still think they're genuinely arguing and they're just

14:17Steven Webb: doing what we're doing. Moaning about what's for tea, what we're going to eat next. And, you know, my brother

14:23Steven Webb: got bigger worms than I did and things like that. You know, the kind of thing that they'd be more

14:28Steven Webb: arguing about, you know. Well, if I live with my friend, he's got a nest that's higher up and he

14:35Steven Webb: can see the valley anyway. And

14:40Steven Webb: that's how it works in us too, I would say. The return of energy, of interest and joy and peace.

14:46Steven Webb: Whether. Whether it's spring in you, whether it's just really doesn't matter, but it creeps in it's sometimes without

14:53Steven Webb: even knowing it. And if you're not paying attention, you will miss it. You'll miss those little moments of compassion,

15:01Steven Webb: those moments of just understanding. And

15:07Steven Webb: I was reminded that Jun Po, one of my teachers,

15:11Steven Webb: one of the main teachers that I knew personally,

15:14Steven Webb: he passed away five years ago now. I was like, wow, I had no idea. I thought it was like

15:20Steven Webb: two years ago.

15:23Steven Webb: And he spoke about what arises out of the initial of any given moment.

15:28Steven Webb: And whether that's grief or anger or compassion or all these things just arise. And he says the first thing

15:36Steven Webb: that arises is always caring. After that, the noise creeps in the story, the things are

15:44Steven Webb: keeping and they turn that caring into anger or all the other things. Because if you're angry about something, you

15:51Steven Webb: care about it. I've never met an angry person that doesn't care they may not be caring about what you

15:57Steven Webb: care about, but they still care. And the one way of diffusing an angry argument, and I'm not very good

16:05Steven Webb: at this, remembering it when I'm in it, the one way of doing it is just looking up again do

16:10Steven Webb: you know what? You could be right. I can tell you really care about this. Explain to me why you

16:15Steven Webb: care

16:17Steven Webb: and whether that's a parking spot, whether or not that's something else. Anger always comes from a place of deep

16:24Steven Webb: caring. But again, it's that arising. It's that coming up. And I think that's so important to

16:32Steven Webb: pay attention to. And

16:36Steven Webb: there's a lovely poem by Tony hogland and it's called the Colour of the Sky. You'll have to look it

16:43Steven Webb: up. Maybe. I'll see if I can find a link to it or put it in the show notes. But

16:47Steven Webb: there's a line in that poem, it says the end turned out to be the middle.

16:55Steven Webb: Here's the thing. We don't know whether things will return. We don't know. And the Easter story,

17:03Steven Webb: we don't know at the point of Friday, they didn't know he was going to rise on the Monday. And

17:10Steven Webb: whether you want to take the story literally or take the story, it's just a story, it really doesn't matter.

17:15Steven Webb: And that's not the point. They will always come back and return in some form, in some way. And

17:21Steven Webb: if there's any way that Jesus did return it through compassion, through

17:28Steven Webb: saying on the cross, forgive them. They don't know what they do. The same as the Buddha, when he was

17:34Steven Webb: spat at in front of all his students, his students are really angry. And the Buddha says don't he he

17:41Steven Webb: didn't spit at me. He spat at his version of me. And when he come back and apologize the next

17:47Steven Webb: day, he said, that's okay. You didn't spit at me. You spat at yesterday Your version yesterday and me.

17:55Steven Webb: And that's what it is. I think

17:59Steven Webb: everybody's ignorant. I'm mixing stuff up now, but that's okay. Anybody regular to my podcast, you know I'll do

18:07Steven Webb: that anyway um That's what the mind does, and that's okay. But the end the end

18:14Steven Webb: turned out to be the middle. And I think that's a lovely Easter message, stripped of all its theology and

18:22Steven Webb: just lay bare the thing that you thought would finish the season. The energy, the part of yourself it

18:30Steven Webb: might just be in the middle. Not the end, the middle. With

18:36Steven Webb: more still to come. And who knows? So

18:40Steven Webb: I'm going to draw this close now. Running out of breath. I'm getting older. I can't talk this long constantly

18:48Steven Webb: for like 15, 20 minutes anymore. So here's your takeaway from today. And it's a gentle one. And it

18:56Steven Webb: feels right for a Sunday, I think. Pay attention to what's arising, not what you think should be happening, not

19:04Steven Webb: the transformation you're trying to force, just what's actually happening quietly beginning to show itself.

19:11Steven Webb: Maybe it's energy, maybe it's curiosity, maybe it's a willingness to try something you've given up years ago.

19:19Steven Webb: Maybe it's just a morning where you feel, for no particular reason, slightly more alive than you did yesterday. That's

19:27Steven Webb: the bud, that's the crocus, that's the way beginning to rise. You don't have to make it happen, just

19:36Steven Webb: have to notice it and stand and not stand in its way. That's important. Thank you for being here today.

19:43Steven Webb: Thank you for listening. I'm Steven Webb and the companion meditation for today's podcast

19:51Steven Webb: is going to be on inner peace meditation it'll be episode 97. It's called what Rises? A spring meditation, and

19:59Steven Webb: it takes everything we talked about today and it gives you the quiet space to sit with it. You can

20:06Steven Webb: find it wherever you listen to podcasts or at StevenWebb.uk. Take care of yourself, Stay curious,

20:14Steven Webb: keep an eye on what's arising. And I love you.