Is the spiritual journey really from the head to the heart? Partly. But most people then try to disconnect the head entirely, and that does not work either.
Is the spiritual journey really from the head to the heart? Partly. But most people then try to disconnect the head entirely, and that does not work either.
I only wanted less pain and less suffering when I set out. We start living in the body more, which is the useful half. Thoughts are not bad, they are just thoughts. Feelings are not bad, they are just feelings. A heartbeat is not a good one or a bad one. It is a heartbeat. Once you stop grading them you can approach the whole thing from somewhere steadier.
One thing to try: Take one thought and one feeling today and refuse to grade either of them.
In this episode
(0:01) The journey from the head to the heart
(2:28) Living in the body more, and where people go wrong with it
(4:24) We have thoughts and we do not have to do anything with them
(6:31) A heartbeat is not a good one or a bad one
(8:50) Spreading a little more stillness when it is needed most
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Thank you for listening.
Steven
The question this answers
Is the spiritual journey really the one from the head to the heart?
Half of it. I have been saying that line for years and this episode is me correcting it after a silent retreat.
The heart of it
Head to heart is the first leg. Then you have to bring the head back in.
Thoughts are not bad. They are thoughts. Feelings are not bad either.
You would not grade a heartbeat as a good one or a bad one, and it is doing exactly what your mind is doing.
I did not set out for anything mystical. I wanted less pain and less suffering, and I still think that is the honest version of it. If you go looking to feel lovely and connect with something outside yourself, you tend to build a bigger ego rather than open a heart.
The first leg is real. You do move out of your head and start living in the body, and it is calmer down there. Most of what we call being present is only ever what we can see, hear and think about. The feeling half is missing until you go and find it.
Where it goes wrong is what most of us try next, and I tried it for years. Get to the body, then shut the head down. No thoughts. Just breathe.
That does not work, and it is not even the aim.
The complete version is head to heart, and then include the head again. Which means being on decent terms with your own thinking rather than at war with it.
I have had a mad thought. I do not have to do anything with it.
That is what changes. Not fewer thoughts. Being all right with the ones that turn up.
Same with judgement, incidentally. Discernment is essential. Is this person good for me, is jumping off this going to hurt me. The mind is meant to do that. The problem is only the version running all day about everything.
One small thing to try
Balance the pressure inside and outside, and stop grading the contents.
A thought turns up. Notice it. Do nothing. A feeling turns up. Notice it. Do nothing. Neither one needs a verdict, and the day gets considerably lighter without them.
Questions people ask
So meditation is not about quietening my mind?
No, and chasing that is what stopped me for years. The aim is a mind you are not fighting, not a silent one, and the second is not available anyway.
What is wrong with living from the heart?
Nothing, and it is a big improvement on living entirely in your head. It is just half the journey. A person running only on feeling is as out of balance as one running only on thinking.
When does this journey finish?
It does not. Every time you include one more thing there is another one. You are exactly where you are, which is the only place available, and that is worth being all right with while you carry on.
Read along
The transcript
It follows the audio. Press any line to jump there.
spiritual-journey · mindfulness · present-moment
Read the transcript
We often think about the spiritual journey as the journey
from the head to the heart.
Although when I set out on my spiritual journey, I just wanted
less pain, less suffering, and that's still the case today.
Really, I still think that's the genuine spiritual journey.
If you're entering a spiritual journey to.
I just want to feel happier and I want to connect with, I don't
know, guardians or angels or you want to connect with something
outside of yourself, then I don't think it's.
Well, I can't say it's not genuine, but it's not the one that
will lead you to less suffering.
It's not the one that will open your heart.
It'll just build more of this alter ego than what you have.
But I do want to address the situation of the journey from the
head to the heart.
And for many years now, I've said the spiritual journey is the
one from the head to the heart.
And I want to update that.
I want to change that.
I want to renew it for a new insight that I've had on asylum retreat
recently.
I'm Stephen Webb, and I'm your host of Stillness in the Storms.
And welcome to the podcast.
And yeah, it's coming to the end of 2021.
What a amazing year.
Or is it 2020?
2020 in it?
Yeah, that's how fast this year has gone.
But yeah, that journey from the head to the heart, I want to
talk about that.
You know, if we take a deep breath now and we're in our heads
now, we're thinking, I'm doing this podcast and it.
A thought's coming up and I'm saying it and it's recording and,
oh, it'll go into editing and things like that, because I don't
normally I should do it.
I should write out my podcast and then go with a script.
But I don't know, I get an idea on my head and I just turn on
the recording software and I just start talking.
So that's why it's probably goes everywhere, all around the.
My mind.
But that's where essentially most of thoughts come from, in the
head.
And when we on a spiritual journey, we want more quietness,
calmness, we want more heart, more compassion.
And of course, we get those from the body.
So that's why we said journey from the head to the body.
We start living in the body a little more.
But the thing is, we try to.
We try to go to the body and disconnect from the head.
And that's what I try to do for ages.
Just Close down the mind.
Less thinking, no, no thoughts.
I just want to, ah, just breathe.
Ah.
And of course the more I meditate and the more I do it, the
more I can go to the body, the more I can include the body in this
moment.
Because most of the time the only thing that's present in this
moment is my mind.
You know, what I can see, what I can hear, what I can think about,
not what I'm feeling.
Most of you know, we go to the body to feeling when the feelings
become overwhelming.
So we end up trying to live from our bodies, live from our hearts.
And that makes perfect sense.
It feels more calmer, it feels nicer, it's more pleasant just taking
a deep breath and approaching life from ah, this place of ah, you
know, you know exactly what I mean.
Just by slowing down, it just feels more pleasant.
But the thing is we're trying to take away our minds, we're trying
to take away our thoughts, we're trying to stop them being part
of it.
Whereas really the spiritual journey is move from the head to
the heart and then include the head.
That's probably the best way of explaining it because here's the
thing, if you're okay with your thoughts, oh, I've just had
a thought that was a crazy thought, I can ignore it, or I've
just had a thought that was a lovely thought instead of, ah, I
got to get rid of these thoughts, I got to stop them.
So we have thoughts, we don't have to do anything with them and
we have feelings and we don't have to do anything with them.
So when we start approaching life from a place of where the pressure
on the outside world equals the pressure on the inside and the
thoughts equal the pressure of the feeling.
So you haven't got one that's overpowering the other.
So instead of being thoughts all day and anger and things like
that, instead of being an emotion all day, we're a mix of all
of them.
And it's a balance, a balance between each one of them.
And I think that's the real journey, that's the real, that's
the place you want to get to where you can accept your thoughts
and your friends with your thoughts, your friends with your
ego and you accept your feelings.
Oh, I'm feeling lonely, that's okay.
Oh, I'm angry, I'm happy, I'm sad, I'm exhausted.
I've got all these different feelings coming up and they're okay,
I don't need to do anything with them.
You know, I've got A desire to have more of a deeper spiritual insight,
that's fine.
I don't have to do anything with it.
Oh, I've just got a thought that that person, that person's an
idiot.
Say perhaps.
And you know that judgment, because the mind judges, you know,
I'm not saying that's okay, but discernment is perfect.
We need to be discerned sometimes.
We need to have some kind of judgment that is that person good
for me?
Is that person bad for me?
Is, is jumping off this thing going to hurt me?
We need to judge in some way.
But when we're judging all the time, or when we're judging on what
we think is right and wrong in the way of opinions, now that's a
little bit different, but I see, I told you I don't script it,
so I go off track a little bit.
But that's what we see thoughts as.
We see thoughts as something bad.
And they're not.
Thoughts are not bad.
They're just thoughts.
Feelings are not bad.
They're just feelings.
Just like when your heart beats, what is that?
It's a heartbeat.
Not a good one or a bad one.
You know, when your other bodily things do what they do, they're
not good or a bad one.
Well, perhaps it can be, but that's, that's a whole different
story.
But you know what I mean, it's doing what it's supposed to do.
Yeah, we don't judge a heartbeat.
We don't judge what the body's doing all the time.
We shouldn't judge our thoughts, we should just be okay
with them.
And then when we find the balance between the mind and the
thinking and the heart, the feeling and the body and the functions
and all that, we're suddenly, ah, I'm at peace with it.
So much easier, so much lighter.
Does that make sense?
So, yes, by all means, go on the journey from the head to the
heart.
Open your heart, you know, feel things deeper.
You know, that's what the spiritual journey is not about getting
rid of pain.
It's about feeling things deeper.
It's about going to your body a lot more often.
And then when you've conquered, go into your body, re.
Reintroduce the head, reintroduce the thoughts and become
complete, become more whole, you know, and then integrate your
shadows and then integrate.
And it's a never ending journey.
And this is why the spiritual journey, whatever you want to call
it, you know, the growing up, the waking up, just becoming more
whole, whatever you want to call it, just, it's a lifetime journey,
you know, and you're right where you're supposed to be.
You're where you are right now.
And there's nowhere else you can be.
Be okay with that.
Be okay with that.
While working towards including more, you know, Take care,
guys.
And I'm Stephen Webb, the host of this Stillness in the Storms.
And head over to my website, Stephen Webb, and you can download
some stuff.
You can book a free coffee with me.
Book a coffee.
I like to get to know my listeners more.
And if you're going to share this or give me a review, you are
awesome.
Thank you.
And I'm deeply grateful to you for helping me spread a little more
stillness when we need it most.
Take care and thank you for the support all this year.
