Title: How to Harness Your 3 Core Values to Navigate Life’s Many Roles
Episode Number: 91
Introduction: In this episode, Steven Webb discusses the complexities of modern life and how identifying and living by three core values can help us navigate the many roles we play. He also shares his perspective on the spiritual journey as a process of opening one’s heart and becoming more compassionate, understanding, and loving.
Call to Action: Support the show or download Steven’s “5 Simple Practices for Inner Peace” at thankyousteven.com. Also, please leave a review. Your feedback is deeply appreciated and helps us improve the show.
Timestamps:
Key Points:
Quotes:
Core Values Mentioned: Authenticity, Compassion, Respect, Integrity, Love, Responsibility, Empathy, Courage, Humility, Gratitude, Patience, Generosity, Perseverance, Self-discipline, Optimism, Fairness, Kindness, Growth, Balance, Peace.
Contact Information: Visit stevenwebb.com to get in touch.
Credits: Hosted by Steven Webb
Additional Podcast: Check out Steven’s other podcast, Inner Peace Meditations, at InnerPeaceMeditations.com.
Have you noticed how life's just becoming more and more complicated?
Steven Webb:Some days I feel like I'm just about keeping my head above water.
Steven Webb:Just some days I'm like, can the world just stop?
Steven Webb:I need to get off for just five minutes, please.
Steven Webb:That would be so nice.
Steven Webb:Wouldn't it just.
Steven Webb:Yeah, imagine having that superpower that literally you could click your
Steven Webb:fingers and the whole world pauses, and we couldn't use it all the
Steven Webb:time, but nobody else knows that.
Steven Webb:Pause.
Steven Webb:I knew someone might have this superpower we wouldn't know, would we?
Steven Webb:I might be, you might all have this superpower and I'm the
Steven Webb:only one that hasn't got it.
Steven Webb:But imagine the superpower where literally you can click your
Steven Webb:fingers and the whole world stops.
Steven Webb:And you can just collect your thoughts.
Steven Webb:Now, you can only use it say once a month for 20 minutes, but you could
Steven Webb:just, you get to that work or you get to that point in the day when the kids are
Steven Webb:just on top of you, works on top of you.
Steven Webb:You just have the phone call.
Steven Webb:You've just got all these things happening, and suddenly before you
Steven Webb:know it, you're just so overwhelmed.
Steven Webb:It's like, click.
Steven Webb:I've just got half an hour to collect my thoughts and sit down.
Steven Webb:God, wouldn't that be an amazing superpower?
Steven Webb:On today's podcast, I want to talk about all the different roles we play and how
Steven Webb:complicated it has become in our lives, and comparing that to a hundred years
Steven Webb:ago to now, and what we can do about it.
Steven Webb:I'm Steven Webb and this is Stillness in The Storms, the podcast that gives you
Steven Webb:a little inner piece when you need it most and probably have at least helping
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Steven Webb:there's a few jacks in the world, so I'm sure I'm okay saying that.
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Steven Webb:Anyway I dunno anything more about you than that, apart from you
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Steven Webb:peace meditations on the podcast.
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Steven Webb:Thank you guys.
Steven Webb:Anyway, let's get on with today's podcast.
Steven Webb:So we're going to unravel some of the complexities of all the
Steven Webb:many roles we play in life.
Steven Webb:And I put together a list of roles because boy, there's so many of them, and I don't
Steven Webb:think we realize how many different roles we play in a day and what it requires from
Steven Webb:us and the attention it requires from us.
Steven Webb:And just switching between them is just absolutely exhausting.
Steven Webb:But what do I mean by roles?
Steven Webb:If I give you a few examples of the kind of roles we play on a daily basis,
Steven Webb:and there, there's so many of them.
Steven Webb:When I started listing, after a couple of minutes, I got to like one or two, and
Steven Webb:then suddenly it just started flowing.
Steven Webb:How many different roles we play.
Steven Webb:So let's just look at family roles.
Steven Webb:You know, I'm a parent, so my daughter phones, I'm a parent.
Steven Webb:Suddenly my mom phones, I'm a son, you know, another family
Steven Webb:member or someone like that.
Steven Webb:Phones an uncle or someone like that.
Steven Webb:Phones, and I'm suddenly a nephew.
Steven Webb:But you might have a cousin, you might have all, you might be a
Steven Webb:grandparent, or you might be a granddaughter or something, you know,
Steven Webb:all these different roles require us to be something slightly different.
Steven Webb:And then you have the social roles.
Steven Webb:You a friend, a mentor, you know, a neighbor, you a community
Steven Webb:member, or you're a volunteer.
Steven Webb:All those roles are, are part of social and then professional roles.
Steven Webb:You, you're an employee, you're a colleague, you're a manager,
Steven Webb:a leader, you're a mentor, you're a doctor, you're a nurse.
Steven Webb:You know, there's so many different things.
Steven Webb:You're a bus driver.
Steven Webb:And then a phone call happens and you suddenly, your son again,
Steven Webb:you, you know, you get the point.
Steven Webb:You got your civic roles.
Steven Webb:You, you are a voter, you're an activist, you're a jury member, you're a student
Steven Webb:teacher, you know, a school board member.
Steven Webb:You're a trustee, you're a patient caregiver, you're a partner, you're
Steven Webb:an ex-partner, you're a fiance, a spouse, and the list goes on.
Steven Webb:Just reading through the list is exhausting.
Steven Webb:So on a daily basis, just think about it for a moment.
Steven Webb:How many roles have you already paid?
Steven Webb:Played today?
Steven Webb:Yeah, that simple phone call, that simple to-do.
Steven Webb:List that simple.
Steven Webb:You may get the kids ready or you may be off out today, or you may have
Steven Webb:had to make a couple of phone calls.
Steven Webb:You've gotta play all these different roles and flip in between them.
Steven Webb:Showing up as your best self into all them is absolutely so demanding, so complex.
Steven Webb:It's so, and we almost simultaneously do it, and we don't bat anite it.
Steven Webb:But here's the difference.
Steven Webb:The more on your spiritual journey you go, the more aware you become, the more
Steven Webb:conscious, the more you open up your heart, the more you realize, the more
Steven Webb:you see what's going on around you.
Steven Webb:The more you want to show up as the best version of yourself in that role.
Steven Webb:But how do we do it?
Steven Webb:You know, it's easy to say all the roles and all the problems with it.
Steven Webb:I dunno about you, but, you know, I, I struggle.
Steven Webb:I'm a city counselor.
Steven Webb:I was a mayor for two years.
Steven Webb:I haven't, I'm not mayor anymore, three or four weeks ago now.
Steven Webb:And I'm loving the fact that I'm not in that role anymore.
Steven Webb:But I love the fact I was in that role.
Steven Webb:But as a mayor, I was the civic mayor.
Steven Webb:I was the council mayor.
Steven Webb:I was the council chair.
Steven Webb:I was a colleague and friend.
Steven Webb:Like I said, I'm a dad, I'm a son.
Steven Webb:My mum phoned up early on, he's got no broadband, so I've
Steven Webb:been trying to sort it out.
Steven Webb:Thank you, Skye, for trying to sort it out on Twitter, but I've gotta go up
Steven Webb:there shortly after I finish this podcast.
Steven Webb:You know, we play all these different roles and to be quite
Steven Webb:honest, who are you in it?
Steven Webb:Is it, you know, do you often feel that your sense of identity is lost?
Steven Webb:Who are you where?
Steven Webb:How do you show up?
Steven Webb:How do you keep a sense of who you are in all of these different roles?
Steven Webb:You know, where's Stevie in all these roles?
Steven Webb:You know, Stevie's, that seven year old, where's Steven?
Steven Webb:That adult.
Steven Webb:I didn't change my name, I just, I felt Stevie as an adult.
Steven Webb:I felt like I needed to mature.
Steven Webb:Plus, Stevie Webb was already taken.com, so stephen webb.com
Steven Webb:wasn't so I could use that.
Steven Webb:So how we, how we mold into the world rather than get the world more to us.
Steven Webb:It's really funny.
Steven Webb:Yeah.
Steven Webb:So that's my main website, stephen web.com.
Steven Webb:Set a v.
Steven Webb:Yeah, well, how many people change their name by depot just
Steven Webb:because they found a domain name.
Steven Webb:Anyway, I'm going off topic now, but isn't it funny, Al we do play all these
Steven Webb:different roles and when we become more aware of it and the spiritual journey
Steven Webb:to me, let me define that cause I've just mentioned it to me, the spiritual
Steven Webb:journey is, is your heart opening?
Steven Webb:Are you able to tolerate more?
Steven Webb:Are you being more compassionate?
Steven Webb:Are you understanding and being more loving?
Steven Webb:And ultimately, are you suffering less?
Steven Webb:That's the spiritual journey.
Steven Webb:It's not about contacting aliens.
Steven Webb:It's not about being able to go on your magic carpet and go, um, all day long.
Steven Webb:It's not about sitting in the bathroom, quietly on the floor,
Steven Webb:meditating in the morning.
Steven Webb:It's about can you show up in a negative environment and raise the
Steven Webb:energy, raise the vibration, and just bring your best version of yourself.
Steven Webb:That's what the true spiritual journey is about.
Steven Webb:I'll tell you who defined it best, was Mother Teresa.
Steven Webb:When she said to a small audience of about three, she looked up
Steven Webb:and said, do you know what?
Steven Webb:It's all well and good.
Steven Webb:You are being home and peaceful.
Steven Webb:When you're here with me.
Steven Webb:You gotta go home and be calm and peaceful in front of your family.
Steven Webb:That's where the work is.
Steven Webb:It's easier to do it in a monastery or.
Steven Webb:On retreat.
Steven Webb:What do you do when you go home?
Steven Webb:That's where the work is.
Steven Webb:That's where you've gotta remain calm.
Steven Webb:It's not about eliminating all negative people and get rid
Steven Webb:of all people you don't like.
Steven Webb:You're gonna go into town, you're gonna encounter the person
Steven Webb:that's having a difficult day.
Steven Webb:The spiritual journey is how do I show up as a friend or a part of
Steven Webb:the community, or just a visitor to a town with the open heart and the
Steven Webb:compassion and the understanding.
Steven Webb:How do we do that?
Steven Webb:And one thing that I try to work on is our core values.
Steven Webb:And if you pick three core values and show up as those core values, no matter what.
Steven Webb:So before you shake someone's hand, just say those core values in your head.
Steven Webb:When you walk through a door into an event or when you walk through a door into the
Steven Webb:day nursery or into your work, or when you're visiting a barbecue friends or
Steven Webb:whatever, just before you go in there like, okay, I am this, this, and this.
Steven Webb:What does that look like?
Steven Webb:And feel it throughout your whole body, and then you can bring those core values
Steven Webb:to all the different roles in life.
Steven Webb:And you are showing up as yourself rather than having those roles define you.
Steven Webb:Does that make sense?
Steven Webb:I should have.
Steven Webb:My phone keeps going off, so I apologize, but I'm on a roll so I don't wanna stop.
Steven Webb:So my mom's probably gonna phone in a minute.
Steven Webb:Stevie the broadband's still not on.
Steven Webb:Okay, I'm coming up there soon.
Steven Webb:Anyway, right.
Steven Webb:I, I digress.
Steven Webb:But we play these different roles in our head switching and all that.
Steven Webb:So how do we show up?
Steven Webb:Well, first of all, I'd written down a list of core principles, and again,
Steven Webb:with them, I didn't realize how many there were, and you are probably
Steven Webb:all of these at different times, but which ones really resonate with you?
Steven Webb:So I got to a list of 20 and I'll list them in the show notes.
Steven Webb:And authenticity.
Steven Webb:Compassion, respect, integrity, love, responsibility, empathy,
Steven Webb:courage, humility, gratitude, patience, generosity, perseverance.
Steven Webb:Self-discipline, optimism, fairness, kindness, growth, balance, and peace.
Steven Webb:Then if you think about that, so if you have a room full of.
Steven Webb:Nine people and each of those nine brought three of those things to the room.
Steven Webb:How awesome would that be?
Steven Webb:So respect, valuing others, treating them with dignity and fairness,
Steven Webb:acknowledging their rights, values, and beliefs, self-discipline, exercising
Steven Webb:control over one's actions and impulses.
Steven Webb:Maintaining focus on long-term goals.
Steven Webb:Growth, pursuing self-improvement, seeking personal and professional
Steven Webb:development, learning from experiences.
Steven Webb:So what do all these look like in a group setting and showing up compassion, showing
Steven Webb:understanding and kindness to others.
Steven Webb:Experiencing a genuine desire to help those in need.
Steven Webb:So if we just pick three main ones, three things that resonate with us,
Steven Webb:then we just remember them in our head.
Steven Webb:We go sleep, and we think about those three things and what it's
Steven Webb:like to show up at that person.
Steven Webb:What does that look like?
Steven Webb:What's it look like to be a kind optimist and a generous friend?
Steven Webb:What does it look like to be a.
Steven Webb:Have, be a dad with integrity, love, and balance.
Steven Webb:So all of these things have such good qualities that I, I, I
Steven Webb:just think it's a simple way of simplifying our complicated lives.
Steven Webb:A hundred years ago, you spent eight hours on the field or just doing one thing.
Steven Webb:You come home and you might read a book or you have something to eat
Steven Webb:and you would sit down with family.
Steven Webb:You didn't have the internet, you didn't have all the tv, you didn't
Steven Webb:have all these complicated things.
Steven Webb:We barely had electricity in most areas.
Steven Webb:Go back 200 years ago, you probably only had two or three roles in your life.
Steven Webb:Whereas now literally we have.
Steven Webb:10, 20, 30 rolls on a daily basis sometimes, and it is
Steven Webb:really, really difficult.
Steven Webb:I really struggle with it on a daily basis, and I think what you can do.
Steven Webb:Maybe I'll do a couple of meditations and all that to help you find which
Steven Webb:one of these really resonate with you.
Steven Webb:But the problem is we cannot go through every single one of them because
Steven Webb:they'll all kind of resonate with you.
Steven Webb:And I hope they all do because they're all brilliant core values.
Steven Webb:I, I'd be quite guided if one of those core values weren't
Steven Webb:present at all in my life.
Steven Webb:There's not one of them that I could read through that I would like to
Steven Webb:chop out, but there's a lot there that I could work on, I could improve.
Steven Webb:And there's a few there that just really resonate with me.
Steven Webb:You know, compassion authenticity and kindness.
Steven Webb:Those three really resonate with me.
Steven Webb:And patience.
Steven Webb:You know, maybe when I'm coaching or when I'm helping someone that finds
Steven Webb:meditation difficult to get over at some difficult times, I can just sit down and
Steven Webb:I can show up as kind and patient and compassionate when that, that be amazing.
Steven Webb:Imagine if everybody, imagine if we had like a t-shirt on and we were
Steven Webb:showing up as those three words.
Steven Webb:And you could have on the t-shirt, these are my three words, my
Steven Webb:core values, pointing them out.
Steven Webb:If I'm not living by them, how awesome would that be?
Steven Webb:How much would people change?
Steven Webb:I don't think people would change at all.
Steven Webb:I just think we would embrace our true selves because I essentially, I think
Steven Webb:everybody, these core values are.
Steven Webb:Innate to everybody.
Steven Webb:I, I don't think people don't have them.
Steven Webb:I think people end up stuck in roles that they may be delusional or that
Steven Webb:they may make mistakes or their actions are not matching their core values.
Steven Webb:And then it's difficult to get out of.
Steven Webb:You know, we get stuck in these loops that are.
Steven Webb:You know, difficult.
Steven Webb:But anyway, I'll list some of the roles and I'll list the core
Steven Webb:values in the show notes for you.
Steven Webb:Just on a reflective question, if you had three core values and you
Steven Webb:literally lived up to them every day, how much would that change?
Steven Webb:What?
Steven Webb:How much would it change each role you play?
Steven Webb:You know, I said compassion because that really resonates with me.
Steven Webb:What does a compassionate son look like?
Steven Webb:Well, it's one that takes a bit of time.
Steven Webb:The one that tries to help.
Steven Webb:What, what is a compassionate friend or a compassionate mayor or a
Steven Webb:compassionate chair for a council meeting?
Steven Webb:It's one that gives everyone a chance.
Steven Webb:It's the one that's fair.
Steven Webb:It's one that understands.
Steven Webb:Some people in the room may find it difficult.
Steven Webb:So, you know, these are not difficult, but it's just difficult to remember
Steven Webb:that they're there all the time.
Steven Webb:So we have to come from that point of creation.
Steven Webb:And when I say point of creation, I don't mean 15.7 billion years
Steven Webb:ago or the day you were born.
Steven Webb:I mean the creation of every single moment right now, this moment has been created
Steven Webb:or happening, it's just happening to us.
Steven Webb:I wouldn't say created is probably the wrong word.
Steven Webb:But I'm sure you know what I mean.
Steven Webb:Every moment is arising.
Steven Webb:That's probably a better way of doing it.
Steven Webb:Ah, God.
Steven Webb:It's quite warm in the UK at the moment.
Steven Webb:I'm seeing here.
Steven Webb:I can hear the birds.
Steven Webb:I'm getting into my afternoon nap.
Steven Webb:You can tell my, my voice has slowed down.
Steven Webb:It's like, right, okay.
Steven Webb:My afternoon nap.
Steven Webb:And do I fight it here for the next three hours or do I just
Steven Webb:go another sleep for 20 minutes?
Steven Webb:I think I'll go another sleep for 20 minutes.
Steven Webb:But look guys, thank you so much for leaving reviews sharing the podcast.
Steven Webb:Think about what three words go through the list in the show notes.
Steven Webb:Think about what three words that.
Steven Webb:Really resonate with you.
Steven Webb:Say the words, feel 'em deeply, see whether they resonate with you, and then
Steven Webb:every time you encounter someone or every time you have a different role to play,
Steven Webb:really take notice of what would this role look like from those perspective of those
Steven Webb:three words, those three core values, I think it, it, it's a game changer.
Steven Webb:It really is a game changer.
Steven Webb:Because we can only ever change ourselves.
Steven Webb:We can only ever, we can only ever be in control of what we bring to the table.
Steven Webb:We're not in control of what other people bring to the table.
Steven Webb:Hence why every barbecue, someone brings up some food and
Steven Webb:you go, why did you bring that?
Steven Webb:It's the same as our actions, you know?
Steven Webb:Take care guys, and thank you and.
Steven Webb:If you can, um, support the podcast or you want to download the five
Steven Webb:symbol practice for enter Paste, head over to thankyousteven.com.
Steven Webb:Otherwise, leave a review.
Steven Webb:That'd be amazing.
Steven Webb:Otherwise, I love you and take care and have a wonderful week.
