Find inner peace even with a busy mind. Steven Webb shares how to embrace your thoughts and use meditation techniques that work for you.
Support this podcast at https://thankyousteven.com.
Highlights:
Steven shares that the goal of meditation is not to silence your thoughts completely, but to embrace them and find inner stillness. Even just taking a few minutes to focus on your breath or listen to sounds can help calm your mind.
Benefits of this episode:
Welcome to stillness in this storm was podcast.
Steven Webb:And this week's episode, I want to talk about some of the myths about meditation.
Steven Webb:And about quietening the mind and how we can have quiet
Steven Webb:mind, even with a busy mind.
Steven Webb:And I think that's really important.
Steven Webb:Lots of people come to me all the time and say, how do I quieten my mind?
Steven Webb:How do I shut off some of those thoughts?
Steven Webb:Some going to tackle some of those things in this week's podcast.
Steven Webb:And I think it's one of those things that stopped so many people meditating.
Steven Webb:When really it shouldn't stop you meditating.
Steven Webb:Although it did stop me for a very long time.
Steven Webb:But just before we do that, I want to thank the couple of people that
Steven Webb:have given that donations this week.
Steven Webb:You are awesome.
Steven Webb:Sandy, Nancy and Audra . You really keep this podcast going.
Steven Webb:You keep my motivation going and same as many others that do donate.
Steven Webb:Yeah.
Steven Webb:You can head over to thankyousteven.com.
Steven Webb:There's a link to.
Steven Webb:Joining my Weekly Calm newsletter.
Steven Webb:It comes out every single Friday.
Steven Webb:I'm about to write it after I do this podcast.
Steven Webb:Because there's always a link to the new podcast.
Steven Webb:What I've been up to behind the scenes.
Steven Webb:And update on me writing my book, the gift of no choice.
Steven Webb:It also helps hints and tips to help you find the little Stillness in the storms.
Steven Webb:A little bit of weekly calm.
Steven Webb:Yeah.
Steven Webb:So let's get on with today's show.
Steven Webb:First of all, I want to debunk the main myth in meditation.
Steven Webb:And that is that.
Steven Webb:That we can quiet in the mind to a point where we can stop our thoughts.
Steven Webb:You cannot.
Steven Webb:There is no off switch.
Steven Webb:It's impossible.
Steven Webb:Asking your mind to stop is like asking your heart to stop beating.
Steven Webb:Or your liver to stop processing.
Steven Webb:Your blood.
Steven Webb:It's not going to happen.
Steven Webb:And if it does happen, you're dead.
Steven Webb:So stop wishing for that to happen.
Steven Webb:But I get it.
Steven Webb:You want that little bit of break from the thought she wanted that
Steven Webb:little bit of peace and quiet.
Steven Webb:Especially when you put your head down at night and the thoughts come racing in.
Steven Webb:I had to put a guided meditation on twice last night to help my mind fall asleep.
Steven Webb:Normally I can do a.
Steven Webb:Body scan.
Steven Webb:Normally I can do a few breathing exercises.
Steven Webb:Count back from a hundred and sevens, things like that.
Steven Webb:And unfortunately quite easily, not last night.
Steven Webb:I was awake at one o'clock in the morning.
Steven Webb:My mind just kept going through one thing.
Steven Webb:It was a desire and then it was something I didn't want.
Steven Webb:And then it was this.
Steven Webb:And then it was that.
Steven Webb:And none of it was important.
Steven Webb:None of it was relevant to my life whatsoever.
Steven Webb:But boy did my subconscious mind think my conscious mind wanted
Steven Webb:to know all about it last night.
Steven Webb:And it stopped me from sleeping because what stops you from sleeping?
Steven Webb:Is when you don't feel in a safe position to go sleep.
Steven Webb:So it keeps the mind active.
Steven Webb:Trust me, my body was asleep.
Steven Webb:My body was fast asleep.
Steven Webb:Oh, just a reminder.
Steven Webb:I'm also recording this.
Steven Webb:As a video as well this time.
Steven Webb:So if you head over to my YouTube channel which you can get the link on.
Steven Webb:Thank you, steven.com.
Steven Webb:You'll see me talking.
Steven Webb:On a video.
Steven Webb:I'm not sure you want to do that, it's there anyway.
Steven Webb:So I'm just trying to share this podcast to reach more people and.
Steven Webb:You just being here, listening to this podcast does help.
Steven Webb:If you can leave a review, that'd be amazing.
Steven Webb:But let's get back to the myths of meditation.
Steven Webb:So basically your mind.
Steven Webb:Has three minds, you have the instinctual mind.
Steven Webb:That is literally.
Steven Webb:Taking everything in from the sounds to the feelings to.
Steven Webb:Emotions and everything taking them in.
Steven Webb:And it's asking the question, is this going to kill me?
Steven Webb:Is it really dangerous?
Steven Webb:Do I need to panic?
Steven Webb:And if no, it passed it.
Steven Webb:Subconscious mind.
Steven Webb:And the subconscious mind looks for a filing cabinet.
Steven Webb:What did I do last time?
Steven Webb:Do I recognize that sound?
Steven Webb:Do I know it?
Steven Webb:Do I recognize that word?
Steven Webb:Do I recognize that road?
Steven Webb:And just ask that question.
Steven Webb:Do I know this already?
Steven Webb:Is that okay?
Steven Webb:If it doesn't at that point, ill pass it over to you.
Steven Webb:But what is constantly doing as well?
Steven Webb:It's thinking stuff up there.
Steven Webb:Things you might like to know.
Steven Webb:It's what it's evolved to do exactly perfectly.
Steven Webb:So if your mind is giving you thoughts, It's working perfectly fine.
Steven Webb:The problem is it's not the fact that we want to shut off the thoughts.
Steven Webb:It's the fact that we want to choose which thoughts to have.
Steven Webb:You don't want to get rid of the thoughts to you enjoy.
Steven Webb:You don't want to get rid of the thoughts that bring you pleasure when
Steven Webb:you fall in love or something like that?
Steven Webb:No, of course you don't.
Steven Webb:But you want to get rid of the painful thoughts or the relentless thoughts or the
Steven Webb:thoughts when you're trying to go sleep.
Steven Webb:Or when you're trying to make some kind of decisions or when you're
Steven Webb:trying to getting on and the mind is constantly, trying to distract you.
Steven Webb:You're not going to stop it, doing that.
Steven Webb:But what we can do, and I will go onto that a little bit more in this podcast.
Steven Webb:Is, we can influence those to force a lot more.
Steven Webb:And this is where meditation comes in.
Steven Webb:Now then for a long time.
Steven Webb:I thought I could not meditate.
Steven Webb:When I hit my rock bottom at 40 years old and went through
Steven Webb:the dark night of the soul.
Steven Webb:And I say that so flippantly, it was pretty rough time.
Steven Webb:For about two weeks.
Steven Webb:I never felt a thing.
Steven Webb:It was awful.
Steven Webb:I was just like a zombie in a body.
Steven Webb:And.
Steven Webb:Yeah.
Steven Webb:You don't want no thinking.
Steven Webb:It's just I just had just awareness for a long time.
Steven Webb:It was almost like day and night.
Steven Webb:I couldn't tell a difference.
Steven Webb:And it wasn't nice.
Steven Webb:It wasn't peaceful.
Steven Webb:Because there was no pleasure in it.
Steven Webb:There was no joy in quietness.
Steven Webb:In order to enjoy quietness, you have to have.
Steven Webb:The ego's got to come online and enjoy the quietness.
Steven Webb:Oh, the irony.
Steven Webb:But after two weeks, my pains and my thoughts started to come back and my
Steven Webb:mind was relentless and it was reminded me of every single painful thought.
Steven Webb:That I could possibly have at the time.
Steven Webb:And it was all the time, day, night.
Steven Webb:It wasn't, but it felt like that.
Steven Webb:It felt like there was no other thought apart from those.
Steven Webb:And I started reading books.
Steven Webb:And the books.
Steven Webb:So much concentration because I was dyslexic.
Steven Webb:That just reading a sentence and a couple of sentences.
Steven Webb:And I read As a Man Thinketh.
Steven Webb:Was enough to keep me occupied.
Steven Webb:And I realized that like the Buddha says we are not what we think.
Steven Webb:Thinking is separate to.
Steven Webb:What the ego is what we are.
Steven Webb:Which is even separate to the awareness, but that's a deeper story.
Steven Webb:What we think isn't necessarily who we are and what we are.
Steven Webb:I was reading all these books one after the other, and it
Steven Webb:was taking months to read them.
Steven Webb:And even the chapters.
Steven Webb:And they would all say to me, I need to meditate.
Steven Webb:I need to do mindfulness and meditation.
Steven Webb:And I would sit down and I would immediately try to silence my thoughts.
Steven Webb:And I would sit down to deep breath focus on your breath, one.
Steven Webb:I couldn't get to three before losing count.
Steven Webb:I could barely get to five before losing count now.
Steven Webb:But I couldn't get to three.
Steven Webb:I couldn't get to two without thinking about what I was going to do for T.
Steven Webb:What I was going to do for lunch, what my friends were doing, what they
Steven Webb:were up to, all the other things.
Steven Webb:How warm it is, how uncomfortable it is, why you sat there, why you doing this?
Steven Webb:Are you really breathing properly?
Steven Webb:After all this time, the body then starts to question the breathing properly.
Steven Webb:When you've breathing how much in your life.
Steven Webb:And suddenly it's perfectly fine now, suddenly we're getting involved in that.
Steven Webb:So it becomes complicated.
Steven Webb:It becomes this rush of all these different thoughts that
Steven Webb:just keep coming and coming.
Steven Webb:And what you will realize with.
Steven Webb:Any kind of busy mind is when you sit down to meditate.
Steven Webb:The thoughts come more and more.
Steven Webb:It's not that you have more thoughts.
Steven Webb:It's the fact that you become more aware of them.
Steven Webb:So the first thing you think is, oh, this doesn't work because.
Steven Webb:I've got loads of thoughts.
Steven Webb:So you mean they start giving up on meditation?
Steven Webb:Like I did.
Steven Webb:Can't do it.
Steven Webb:Not for me.
Steven Webb:I need a quiet mind.
Steven Webb:If you needed, if you had a quiet mind, you wouldn't need meditation.
Steven Webb:And I've yet to come across anybody that has a quiet mind
Steven Webb:that doesn't need meditation.
Steven Webb:And I also yet to come across anybody that cannot meditate.
Steven Webb:Because meditation is not about quite in the mind.
Steven Webb:Do you get that?
Steven Webb:I hear why you with me?
Steven Webb:So why meditate, if it's not about quieting the mind or meditation
Steven Webb:gives us the ability to see what is.
Steven Webb:When we sit in meditation or mindfulness and we just observe our breath,
Steven Webb:we see the breath for what it is.
Steven Webb:When we just listen to sounds, which is my favorite meditation.
Steven Webb:Just listen.
Steven Webb:Listen to the words.
Steven Webb:Listen to the birds, listen to.
Steven Webb:Next door, his lawn mower listened to the air conditioner.
Steven Webb:It doesn't matter what it is, whether it's favorable or not just listen.
Steven Webb:And listened.
Steven Webb:You hear it for what it is and you do not make it into something else.
Steven Webb:Which is really important.
Steven Webb:When it comes to meditation, it's seeing life for what it really
Steven Webb:is and not what we think it is.
Steven Webb:Not what our illusion makes out to be.
Steven Webb:And that's where most of our pain and most of our suffering comes from.
Steven Webb:Is we're making life to be something other than what it is.
Steven Webb:You take a deep breath in this moment, you can do it now.
Steven Webb:It may take a deep breath.
Steven Webb:And if we just relax.
Steven Webb:We'll see that this moment has very little wrong with it.
Steven Webb:For us personally, we're doing alright.
Steven Webb:Okay, of course, there's loads going wrong in the world.
Steven Webb:Look at the political systems at the moment.
Steven Webb:Look at the way religion is abused.
Steven Webb:Look at the way religion.
Steven Webb:Isn't.
Steven Webb:All working out perfectly for everybody.
Steven Webb:Look at the way economies are going.
Steven Webb:There's rich and poor and there's people suffering the fires and all that.
Steven Webb:I heard 36 people died in wildfires the other side of the world and all that.
Steven Webb:Of course the world's burning.
Steven Webb:Everything's gone wrong, but right now, when you take a deep breath right now
Steven Webb:in this moment, things are okay with us.
Steven Webb:And that's what meditation does.
Steven Webb:It gives us the ability to go.
Steven Webb:Okay.
Steven Webb:My mind's been bothering me with thoughts.
Steven Webb:But it's actually okay.
Steven Webb:It's not too bad here right now.
Steven Webb:And when we sit down to do that meditation.
Steven Webb:We're distracted and we self judge, are we doing it right?
Steven Webb:Is it.
Steven Webb:The social pressures, the thing and what we should, and shouldn't be doing.
Steven Webb:Oh, those things come into everybody's mind.
Steven Webb:If they did an, I would question, there's something wrong with you.
Steven Webb:A lot of the spiritual world says about we shouldn't judge.
Steven Webb:Yes, we should.
Steven Webb:But we should judge in a healthy way . Is this person going to hurt me right now?
Steven Webb:Is this person a danger for me?
Steven Webb:Is this person in danger to them?
Steven Webb:So it keeps us alive.
Steven Webb:Healthy judgment is a good thing.
Steven Webb:We have to judge, whether that bear running towards us is
Steven Webb:a danger or a friendly one.
Steven Webb:It's not my gamut of judgment.
Steven Webb:It's not mine getting rid of all these things, but it's about
Steven Webb:seeing it clearly how it works.
Steven Webb:So the more you meditate, the more you see.
Steven Webb:There's unhealthy judgment.
Steven Webb:There's unhealthy going with the feelings.
Steven Webb:Oh, that's my mind.
Steven Webb:Again, jumping to social media.
Steven Webb:And when you see these things clearly.
Steven Webb:You can then go with them or not go with them.
Steven Webb:And this is where most of your pain will be reduced.
Steven Webb:Is when you choose to go with them.
Steven Webb:Most of the pain and this is what people really want to stop doing.
Steven Webb:It's don't.
Steven Webb:One to stop the thinking is they want to stop the autopilot as lead into more
Steven Webb:suffering, more pain and more thinking.
Steven Webb:They want to just be able to go.
Steven Webb:Can I just have a gap?
Steven Webb:Can I just have, can I stop the world just for.
Steven Webb:30 minutes just so I can just pause.
Steven Webb:Take stock of my current situation.
Steven Webb:And then everybody else that'd be a super power.
Steven Webb:I was talking to a friend of mine the other day.
Steven Webb:And we were sitting in Victoria gardens.
Steven Webb:My lovely conversation.
Steven Webb:I was saying about a superpower and she mentioned that and I was like,
Steven Webb:yes, that's the one I want as well.
Steven Webb:Just to be able to click on fingers.
Steven Webb:And we have half an hour.
Steven Webb:Or 10 minutes.
Steven Webb:And we can only use it sparingly.
Steven Webb:Otherwise we would end up using all the time.
Steven Webb:Nobody else knows the world's pause.
Steven Webb:And you just get 20 minutes just to.
Steven Webb:Okay.
Steven Webb:I can just take stock.
Steven Webb:What do I need to do?
Steven Webb:Can I do my to do list.
Steven Webb:And then you start it again and no one knew.
Steven Webb:Or maybe everybody does have that superpower, but me.
Steven Webb:Because you're doing it anyway.
Steven Webb:Who knows.
Steven Webb:Message may head over to thankyousteven.com and there's a
Steven Webb:place where you could message me.
Steven Webb:And let me know if you have that superpower and you're
Steven Webb:using it all the time.
Steven Webb:I'm just unaware.
Steven Webb:No thinking about time because I'll be upset and.
Steven Webb:I think it's like, Why not mean.
Steven Webb:I want something.
Steven Webb:Anyway.
Steven Webb:I'm going off.
Steven Webb:Off of the topic of the podcast now.
Steven Webb:But the point is.
Steven Webb:You can meditate, even if you've got a noisy mind , you're not
Steven Webb:going to quiet in your mind.
Steven Webb:You're not going to turn off all those thoughts.
Steven Webb:That's perfectly fine.
Steven Webb:The mind is not broken something like 30 to 40.
Steven Webb:Thoughts.
Steven Webb:Per minute.
Steven Webb:And that's about 40,000 thoughts a day.
Steven Webb:That's a lot.
Steven Webb:It's no wonder we trying to shut them off, but the point is we're trying
Steven Webb:to shut off the ones we don't want.
Steven Webb:So what techniques can we use in order to quiet the mind a little bit.
Steven Webb:So it becomes.
Steven Webb:A useful friend, as opposed to an overthinking hyper Chimp.
Steven Webb:one thing you can do.
Steven Webb:He say, okay, look.
Steven Webb:You're relentless.
Steven Webb:What's your next thought?
Steven Webb:And just wait for it.
Steven Webb:As a little neat little trick and you can do it now.
Steven Webb:So just way of that, just to just ask yourself right now, same
Steven Webb:time as I asked you is what's my next thought and wait for it.
Steven Webb:Oh, how brilliant.
Steven Webb:You just have a peaceful mind for a moment.
Steven Webb:But you, weren't not thinking you were awareness.
Steven Webb:I consider that from.
Steven Webb:Everything you can do.
Steven Webb:Is when you sit down to meditate.
Steven Webb:Reverse your breathing instead of breathing in first breath out first.
Steven Webb:Try that now breathe out first.
Steven Webb:Instantly your mind goes quiet because it's got a focus on something.
Steven Webb:And this is the whole point.
Steven Webb:Meditation is about giving your mind something to do.
Steven Webb:It's not about silencing the mind.
Steven Webb:I took a little while to get that, but that's the whole point is
Steven Webb:give your mind something to do.
Steven Webb:And if you can get the minds, I'm going to focus on the breath, focus
Steven Webb:on the sound, the running water.
Steven Webb:The candle burning.
Steven Webb:Whatever is a body scan.
Steven Webb:They use mantra meditations.
Steven Webb:Yeah.
Steven Webb:Pick a word.
Steven Webb:And I think I read somewhere that.
Steven Webb:Buddha come from this and if you pick two words to set up most, put them
Steven Webb:together and you just repeat that.
Steven Webb:For 10 minutes.
Steven Webb:You'll be surprised how quickly your mind quietens down.
Steven Webb:And it's harder than you think.
Steven Webb:Yeah, count in breath.
Steven Webb:See if you can get to 10.
Steven Webb:Just count the out-breath or just count the in-breath.
Steven Webb:I'm gonna challenge you.
Steven Webb:Can you get to 10?
Steven Webb:Message me leave a review.
Steven Webb:Just say yes or no.
Steven Webb:Can you get to 10?
Steven Webb:It's harder than you think.
Steven Webb:And that's for everybody.
Steven Webb:Even now when I sit in meditation, when I've really practiced for, I
Steven Webb:doubt, 20 minutes, half an hour.
Steven Webb:Every day.
Steven Webb:I might get to a couple of months and I might be able to hold it for 10, 15.
Steven Webb:Without the mind wandering in with something.
Steven Webb:I do want to tackle one thing.
Steven Webb:You don't have to meditate for 40 minutes a day to get the benefit.
Steven Webb:Yes, of course the more you do it, the more benefit you will have.
Steven Webb:But you can have a massive impact on your life and a profound effect on just doing
Steven Webb:five minutes, three or four times a day.
Steven Webb:I literally just sit there and go, I'm going to listen.
Steven Webb:And just listen.
Steven Webb:Without judgment without labeling it.
Steven Webb:I'm just going to listen, listen it will lead to deeper insights that
Steven Webb:will lead to more space in the mind for bad decisions, more energy.
Steven Webb:More joy, more peace.
Steven Webb:That's more my approach.
Steven Webb:If I tried to sit down for 40 minutes in the morning, it could be partly a problem.
Steven Webb:I'm sat down 24 hours a day anyway, because I'm paralyzed.
Steven Webb:12 hours now I'm in bed, lying down the other half.
Steven Webb:I tend to take five minutes out here and there.
Steven Webb:Nearly every hour, I'll take a good minute or so out at least.
Steven Webb:And just breathe or just listen.
Steven Webb:Can I count to 10.
Steven Webb:And those little timeouts reminds me when everything's going really wrong.
Steven Webb:The subconscious mind says, okay, go to ypur breath.
Steven Webb:I just started doing the automatic that's what gives me
Steven Webb:more peace and more inner peace.
Steven Webb:So when things are going really wrong or anything like that.
Steven Webb:Okay.
Steven Webb:Just brief.
Steven Webb:I D I feel like I don't have to fight them back.
Steven Webb:And that's my practice.
Steven Webb:My practice is.
Steven Webb:As much as possible during the day, all the time.
Steven Webb:It's all well and good having peace and quiet seven o'clock in the morning.
Steven Webb:Before the kids get out of bed and you're locked in the bathroom and you've got your
Steven Webb:candles and you've got your sense and all.
Steven Webb:So I want a good I'm in peace and quiet there.
Steven Webb:What are you going to do when you're out on your bosses, stressing you or your
Steven Webb:family's getting on your nerves when you're in the car and you're driving
Steven Webb:along and the kids are screaming.
Steven Webb:And suddenly you're going to get that kid stop me.
Steven Webb:I'm going to get my incense stick out.
Steven Webb:I'm going to get my candles.
Steven Webb:We need some peace and quiet.
Steven Webb:I need you to lock the doors.
Steven Webb:I need you to go back to sleep.
Steven Webb:No.
Steven Webb:The idea is to.
Steven Webb:Do that when you can.
Steven Webb:But the idea is to bring that to everyday life, find the peace and quiet
Steven Webb:in everyday life in amongst the chaos.
Steven Webb:So his podcast is about, I don't tell you to avoid life.
Steven Webb:I don't tell you to avoid negative people.
Steven Webb:I don't tell you to avoid thoughts.
Steven Webb:So avoid feelings.
Steven Webb:I want you to feel everything.
Steven Webb:I want you to have thoughts.
Steven Webb:I want you to enjoy this wonderful, incredible experience I've been alive.
Steven Webb:And it is, trust me.
Steven Webb:It's It's an experience that you.
Steven Webb:You won't repeat.
Steven Webb:Your one chance it's here.
Steven Webb:What someone estimated 16 trillion to one, the chance of you being alive right now.
Steven Webb:We got a double that the chance of you listening to my podcast and middle life.
Steven Webb:Come on.
Steven Webb:That's pretty awesome.
Steven Webb:My.
Steven Webb:But that's what this podcast is about today.
Steven Webb:I wanted you to know that even if you have a busy mind, you can meditate.
Steven Webb:And you don't have to sit down.
Steven Webb:And tried to silence your mind for 40 minutes.
Steven Webb:You can literally take time out two minutes, 10 minutes here and there.
Steven Webb:Just on the way to work.
Steven Webb:Just listen, rather than put the radio on.
Steven Webb:Just do different things.
Steven Webb:Integrated into your daily life.
Steven Webb:I'm going to ask you now to head over to thankyousteven.com.
Steven Webb:You can either message me.
Steven Webb:Treat me to a coffee.
Steven Webb:That would be absolutely awesome.
Steven Webb:And thank you to Sandy, Nancy and Audra.
Steven Webb:For your donations this week.
Steven Webb:Yeah, I just really appreciate you guys.
Steven Webb:And anybody that can leave a review or anything.
Steven Webb:Thankyousteven.com.
Steven Webb:You're all awesome.
Steven Webb:Love you all.
Steven Webb:Take care and hopefully.
Steven Webb:You stop trying to silence your mind.
