Finding Your CORE VALUES and Why It Is so Important

Q: Where do values come from?

You build them. A baby has none, and quite right too, because it is busy surviving. Empathy and care are grown, which means yours are an achievement rather than a personality trait.

Q: Why does having them matter?

Because they are the only thing that does not move. Roles change, beliefs change, opinions change weekly. Knowing what you will not compromise on is what makes all that movement survivable.

Q: What if I keep failing my own values?

Then you are like the rest of us and you have something to work with. Noticing the gap is not the failure. Never having looked is.

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values · purpose · ego

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Hey, welcome to Living Deeper Lives, the podcast that helps you

to live a more deeper life, a more meaningful life, a life of freedom

and purpose.

I'm your host, Stephen Webb, and there's a new podcast every Monday

that will help you with the pointers towards more freedom this

week.

I'm talking about core values, the underlying, fundamental values

of who you are beyond your roles, of what you do in life, and

beyond your opinions and belief.

A couple of weeks ago, I was talking to my daughter in the kitchen

one day and she was going through a particular hard time, like

she is at the moment, and we were talking about, like, the tree

of life and how we form the ego and how we form who we are.

And I said, like, the trunk of the tree is the roles we play.

Maybe mum, dad, daughter or doctor, fireman, nurse, you know,

builder, just dustbin men, whatever.

That's the trunk of the tree.

And then you've got the early part of the branches, that's your

beliefs, your, you know, that could be your religion or your politics.

And then you've got the outer branches and the leaves.

That's all your opinions and your likes and your dislikes.

And then we were talking about core values, the underlying values

below that, and we were talking about what they might be

and do we actually use them.

And if you talk to anybody and you say, like, well, what are your

core values?

And they'll say, well, I've got integrity, I've got caring, I'm

understanding.

And then if you really ask them, do you really bring those core

values to every role you have in life?

And we thought about it and we really don't.

We don't develop these core values and these fundamental values

enough, in my opinion.

We know they're there, we want them.

We want.

We expect other people to have them and we get really offended and

we take it personally if somebody else doesn't live up to

the core values we think they should have.

You know, if they lie to us and they break the core value of

honesty, it really does trigger us.

And then.

But when we turn it around on ourselves, how much do we live up

to our core values?

It's made me think over the last few weeks, couple of weeks since

that conversation, what are my core values?

And I'd like to think that I'm caring, I'm understanding, I'd like

to think I got integrity.

But then I thought, yes, I may have those, but how much of it do

I really bring to every aspect of life?

I'm a city councillor.

When I sit on a Council meeting, do I bring those core values

to that meeting, do I bring them to.

When I say something, do I. I'm also.

I have carers when I'm with my carers, do I bring those core values

to that?

And what about when my daughter's here or when I'm at my

parents, when I'm listening to my mum?

And very often it's very difficult when we're with family,

especially our parents.

I always go back to what Mother Teresa says.

I think it's Jack Kornfield always says this as well.

If you think you're enlightened, go and spend a week

with your parents.

But when I go up and spend like a few hours with my mum, am

I really showing up as love and understanding?

So I wanted to dive deeper and I want you to consider what your

fundamental values and which ones of those that you will not budge

from.

And I think if we develop these, the tree becomes rooted into

the ground.

You could say they're the roots of the tree, these fundamental

values.

And we don't worry about our losing our branches or we don't worry

about anybody disagreeing with our beliefs or moving from role to

role.

As long as we've got the core values intact.

You know, they're the fundamental building blocks that

everything are built on.

You know, the weather can take away the tree and the storms could

almost knock it over, but if the roots are intact, you don't have

to worry about it.

You don't have to worry about life so much.

You don't have to worry about someone riling you up the wrong way,

because we're going to show up as these values anyway.

And also, what values do we need to develop a little more?

And if you think about going back to when you're first born, do

you have these true values?

Well, no.

We learn to have empathy.

We develop empathy as we grow, we develop caring as we grow, we

develop.

A baby doesn't care.

A baby doesn't have empathy.

It's not lying there thinking, oh, I wonder if my mum's tired, perhaps

I'll just lie and be quiet and let my mum have a bit more sleep.

They don't have that ability when they're born.

Because at Maslow's hierarchy of needs, if they don't get those

core needs met, they're going to cry.

They're not going to care who they upset, or they're not going

to care whether they bring understanding along with that crying.

But as we get older, there's no excuse, really, when you move

beyond Your teens and you hit adulthood, you have your own children.

There really is no excuse for not looking at these core values

and developing them, looking at what is important to you, what

you.

How you would like other people to show up in your life.

Integrity and honesty is like absolute, the utmost importance to

you.

Are you living from that place as well?

Do you bring that true values to every conversation you have?

Do you bring them to every reply and post on Facebook?

Do you bring them to the job you do?

Do you bring them to every conversation you have with your family

when a friend phones you?

I doubt we do.

I just being honest, I don't.

I've got to somehow almost come back and pinch myself and go,

do you know what?

You really weren't that caring.

You say you're caring and loving, Stevie, but you really weren't

in that instance.

And I remember Kembra coming back here one day and she said something

to me and I just went off on it.

I just went off on this rampage of, I don't really shout,

but I can kind of go on a little bit.

And I did that to her.

And she stood there and she took it, and I kept going on and

on and on.

And then I finished and I said, and I'm done now, and I'm finished.

She stood there and she looked up and said, well, that wasn't very

Zen of you, was it?

And it's funny because I was trying to develop my Zen side.

This is about three, four years ago now.

I was becoming more peaceful.

You know, I'm very Zen now.

I'm very stoic.

But in that moment, I did not bring that to that conversation.

And this is what I'm talking about, you know, So I want you to

consider yourself.

What are your.

What is important for other people to show up in your life as.

And there's so many core values.

Let me know in the comments below or let me know on my Facebook

page.

What.

What core values are important to you and are you working on yours?

Do you really bring them to every aspect of your life?

Say, if one of your core values is to be loving now, then

whether you're a doctor or a binman or a gardener or a president,

it really doesn't matter what your job is in life in that time,

are you bringing that loving core value to that job?

And the same as if a belief, if you're in a debate or having a

conversation or you're in church on Sunday, are you bringing

the core value that you say you are to that belief?

And that day and that moment, I think if we were perfectly honest,

we could do better.

You know, C minus could do better.

And as we work on it more and as we, every time we shake someone's

hands or give them a hug, if we think about these core values,

we can live from them a little more.

And I think it benefits us because it'll come back around on

us and then also identifying the ones where we demand from others.

But we don't show up as ourselves if we're really honest

about it.

And one of mine is integrity.

I like to think I've got lots of integrity.

But what is integrity?

Integrity is you promise something and whether you deliver

or not, that's one of the values of integrity, I believe.

And I promise a lot.

And sometimes, quite often, okay, nearly all the time, I can

feel my inner dialogue going as I'm saying this.

I let people down and it's not because I don't mean to deliver,

it's because I, I overestimate what I'm able to do because I'm paralyzed

and my fingers are paralyzed.

Just editing a podcast takes me three or four times longer than

it would somebody else.

And I tend to forget.

Although I've been in a wheelchair now, I've been paralyzed

since I was 18.

My mind forgets at times and I still think I can do what an able

bodied person does and I forget things take longer.

So I tend to promise things and I don't deliver very often.

But integrity is taking that into account and going, well, look,

if I'm going to live with integrity, I'm only going to promise

what I'm going to deliver.

And that goes as being a parent.

As you know, I'm a dad that goes in that role of being a dad

or in the role of the teacher in the inner Peace Academy that I

run.

And if anybody's Interested, go to stephenweb.com spelled with

a V, not a PH and you can have a look about the academy there where

you can join, where I help people have a lot more in life.

But yeah, that's what I want you to think about this week is what

core values do you have?

What ones are you really good at remembering and which ones do

you need to work on more?

And it will create a stability in your life and there's a freedom

to knowing that your core values are not going to be compromised,

that they can chop your branches off, they can interfere

with your tree, they can do all the other things, but they're

not going to rock your roots and your foundation of who you are.

So work out your core values, work out your underlying roots of

your internal tree.

I'm Stephen Webb and I help you to go from to ah.

I think that's the best way of explaining it.

I give you a little inner peace and a little calmness about

your life and if I help you head over to my page and buy me a

coffee would be absolutely awesome and thank you.

That supports the work I do and there you can sign up to a monthly

like $3 a month and that will help me to get things edited and

help me to speed things up and help me to deliver and that I guess

that helps my integrity as well.

So yeah, head over to my page and you can click the link buy me

a coffee, support the work I do.

Or you can head to the website support Stephen.com thank you.

Really appreciate your time.

Time is the most precious thing we have and spending the last

10:12 minutes with me is really.

I really appreciate it and take care and have a good week.

I will be back next Monday for a new episode of Living Deeper Lives

podcast.

Thank you.

Finding Your CORE VALUES and Why It Is so Important

In this episode

The question this answers

The heart of it

One small thing to try

Questions people ask

The transcript

One calm email.
Every Sunday.

Finding Your CORE VALUES and Why It Is so Important

In this episode

The question this answers

The heart of it

One small thing to try

Questions people ask

The transcript

More honest conversations

One calm email. Every Sunday.

One calm email.
Every Sunday.