What do you do when the world is on fire and you can do nothing about it? You work out what is genuinely at arm's length, and you start there.
I have no influence over soldiers. I have influence over myself and what I do locally, at arm's length, as one of my teachers puts it. Getting depressed about it does not improve anybody's life somewhere else. No amount of your misery helps them. Put the phone down a while, because every other post is about it, this episode included.
One thing to try: Name one thing at arm's length you could actually do this week, then do that instead of scrolling.
In this episode
(0:08) What can you do when everything seems to be going wrong?
(1:35) Where to find me, and what the newsletter actually is
(3:11) Not being ready to handle it without getting caught up
(4:58) Arm's length, and what my teacher meant by it
(6:17) Your misery does not improve anybody else's life
(7:39) Being open hearted without pretending to understand
(9:43) A short one this week, and no apology for that
(11:03) Put Facebook down. This episode included
Support the podcast and join the Weekly Calm: stevenwebb.uk
Thank you for listening.
Steven
The question this answers
What do you do when the world is on fire and you can do nothing about it?
I recorded this a few days after the invasion of Ukraine. Twelve minutes, and it is not the deepest episode I have made. Sometimes the useful wisdom is the plain kind.
The heart of it
Your misery does not improve anybody's life. Not one person, anywhere.
Work out what is genuinely at arm's length and start there.
Feeling guilty for having a good day is not solidarity. It is just another person having a bad day.
I have no influence over Putin, or Biden, or any of the leaders. None over the soldiers. What I have is influence over myself and what happens locally, at arm's length, which is how one of my teachers put it and I have never found a better phrase for it.
There is a trap in here that catches decent people. We feel we should not be allowed joy while others are suffering, so we go about quietly punishing ourselves as a kind of tribute. Nobody benefits. The bulletin is identical whether you are wrecked by it or not.
No matter how miserable you become, you are not going to change something on the other side of the world.
They would far rather you got on with your day.
I did have to disconnect entirely once. When I hit rock bottom I stopped the news for three or four years and came off social media for about nine months. Not because news is bad, but because I could not take it in without feeling I had to personally fix it, and I was in no state to.
One small thing to try
Name one thing at arm's length you could actually do this week. Then go and do that instead of scrolling.
Your family. Your street. The person at work having a rough time. Something local you could give an hour to.
And put the phone down for a while, because every other post is about it. This episode included.
Questions people ask
Is this telling me not to care?
No. Care, and be honest about your reach. Compassion that goes nowhere becomes despair, and despair helps nobody at either end.
Should I stop watching the news?
Only if it is making you useless. I stopped for years because I could not take it in without drowning. Coming back to it later, on my terms, was a different thing entirely.
What if the thing on fire is in my own life?
Same two questions. Can I do anything about this, and what is at arm's length? The answer to the first is often no, and that is precisely why the second one matters.
Read along
The transcript
It follows the audio. Press any line to jump there.
overwhelm · politics · anxiety · acceptance
Read the transcript
What can you do when the whole world feels like it's burning around you?
What can you do when everything seems to be going wrong?
What can you do when you feel useless?
When you feel as if you cannot help and you feel like you need to do something?
Do you know what? With the Ukraine war and with other things going on and coming out of COVID the
last couple of years and I don't know if we're coming out of it or not, I'm not quite sure
what's going on anymore.
There's been times, and especially now, that I kind of feel like I want to help. I want to do
something. I don't know what to do, so therefore I feel kind of useless. So
let's have a chat about that. What can we do when the world's burning around us and we feel kind
of useless to help? I'm Steven Webb, and this is Stillness in the Storms. And this is the podcast that
helps you to, I was gonna say feel better when things are wrong. It just helps you to find that
little bit of stillness when... The world's burning, I suppose. And that's what I want to talk about. That's what
I want to, you know, bring out in the foremost. First of all, I always start my podcast, well, recently
anyway, the last few podcasts with what's been happening this week and just a little plug for my website and
my newsletter. You can head over to StevenWebb.uk. And you can sign up to my newsletter,
which basically just tells you what I'm doing, what I'm reading, what I'm listening to, maybe what I'm watching,
and just my thoughts are my thoughts at the moment about different things. And a little bit of,
you know, sometimes a link to a meditation I've done, things like that, to give you a little bit more
inner peace. But what's been happening this week? Well, on Monday I'll find out whether or not I can do
a second term as mayor. They'll vote me in or vote me out. But this week's just been crazy busy
with meetings and other such things. But if you're like me, and I know I went through a long time
of not engaging with the news, not having anything to do with the news. When I was really, really suffering
on it, I hit my rock bottom seven, eight years ago. One of the first things I had to do
is I had to disconnect from the world. I couldn't cope with the world. It was too much information for
me, so I had to take a step back. And I stopped watching the news. I stopped reading the newspapers.
I stopped going on websites or anything. And I even would have got
deactivated my Facebook and didn't go on Twitter or anything. I'd done this for about eight, nine months, but the
news was a good three or four years. And it gave me the opportunity to take a step back from
things because I wasn't ready to be able to handle it. And when I say handle it, I mean I
wasn't ready to deal with these things without becoming attached, without becoming so
caught up in it, feeling like I had to fix it. And I know sometimes even now I find it
frustrating, especially, you know, we got a war in Europe. What the hell is that about? Now we could go
into the details of it. I don't want to go into the details of it. Who started what, why. There's
a war and people and children will die.
Innocent people will be affected by the sanctions. And it's an awful situation. So my
heart goes out to them. My heart goes out to anybody that suffers from war. This isn't the only one
in the world, but it's the one in Europe, in the Western world. What feels like the Western world. And
there's been many civil wars all over the world going on anyway. But
this one's particularly feels close to home.
And I kind of feel that what can I do about it? I feel kind of useless. But that's not
true. There's
two things we need to remember when things like this are happening. And that is what are we in control
of?
And what can we do about it? And we have to be realistic about it. Not in some kind of
feeling like we should stop it or we should make a difference. We have to step up. Then if you're
in a position to, brilliant, please do that. But if like me, there's not a lot I can do, I've
got no influence over Putin or Biden or Boris or any of the other leaders. I've got no influence over
the soldiers. But
what I do have is what I do have is influence over myself and what I do. And locally,
arm's length, as Jun Po my
my um one of my spiritual teachers would say, what can you do at arm's length? Well,
you can still create the sanctuary around you. You can still be calm for your family. You can still be
calm for yourself. And don't be hard on yourself. Don't be beating yourself up because there's horrible
atrocities going on in the world and We beat ourselves up because we're not fixing it. We're not doing something
about it. We feel like we should. We feel like we got to get out there and protest or do
something. Really, sometimes
we're just not in a position to be able to do that we got to grant a living We've got
to carry on with daily life.
But we can not let it overwhelm us. So
if you turn on that news bulletin or not, the news bulletin is going to be the same. If
you are affected by it or not, the news bulletin is going to be the same.
And if we end up making our lives worse by feeling depressed or getting really down and anxious
on our end in our life, it's not going to improve their lives. No matter how miserable you become,
no matter how downtrodden you become in your life, you're not going to change something the other side of the
world or even next door.
So... I think that's really important to remember in these times when, you know, you having a miserable
life in sympathy of what they're going through is not going to improve their lives. You
know, they would much rather you lived in gratitude. You got on with your day and you enjoyed the day
rather than wallowing in your own self-pity because we feel like we should be suffering because they are suffering.
That
doesn't help anything.
But we feel like we cannot be happy if they're not happy. We cannot enjoy freedoms and joy
if they're not enjoying freedoms and joy
can open our heart and have empathy for them we can
the one way One of the best ways in which we can do that is by getting on with our
lives. And when we have the opportunity, say we're against this. We're open-hearted for you.
We we feel for you we
Okay we can't understand and know what you're going through because unless we are in it with our own lives,
we cannot just, you just cannot. But you can recognise
it.
But we don't have to recognise it every time like, hey, I'm feeling grateful for my life. But then flip
it around and go, I know others are suffering at the moment and you don't have to feel guilty to
have a good day. I
suppose that's what I'm saying. So what can we do? We we just get on with our lives. We
can understand and see it. We can have some empathy and compassion for them or
for whatever's going on. You you may have something going on in your life as much closer to home. It's
way more painful. But
can you do anything about it? Are you able to change the outcome?
Are you able to reverse it, go back, go back in time? Have you got your Delorean that you can
go back in time and redo it? No, I'm guessing you haven't.
So it's accepting the present situation. I
accept what it is. Can
I do anything with it? Probably not.
So that's arm length, carry on doing what you can do.
You know, what are you doing for your community? What are you doing for your work colleagues? What are you
doing for yourself and your family? You
know, are you still treating them and those situations and those projects now in your life with compassion?
Or you getting fixated with the war? And neglecting the other things. So that's
why I wanted to come on and say is this week's podcast. I know it's quite a short one. I
know it isn't really full of deep wisdom, but you know, not all wisdom has to be really deep and
profound. Sometimes the best wisdom is just simple. What are you in control of? Can you do anything
about it? Can you be compassionate? And can you still bring compassion to every aspect of your life that you
are in control of? I think that's the ultimate question.
So, I'm gonna say take care and my heart so goes out to the Ukrainians and anybody that is
suffering from war
and whenever there's war it's from all sides. The soldiers that are doing the attacking are as much a victim
as anybody else albeit it doesn't feel like that and doesn't look like that
horrible situation.
But take a deep breath. Deal with it in the best way you know how. If you find it really
hard, turn off a Tv If you find it hard to deal with, put away the newspaper. Put away the
Facebook for a moment because every other post is about the Ukraine.
Even this podcast that you've tuned into is about the Ukraine. It's about something bigger. It's about
you and us and what we're doing with our lives. That's what's important. That's the one thing you're in control
of and the only thing probably you're in control of.
So, head over to StevenWebb.uk at StevenWebb.uk
And, yeah, there's lots of things to do on there. Read some of my posts, listen to my other podcast
that has meditations.
Download my newsletter. Other things like that. Donate a coffee if you want. But above all, just
do
what you can at arm's length. And don't worry about something you have no control over the other side of
